A Slight Physical Similarity
by hanhannoria
Summary: another good ole Sevitus. SS/OC slash, gay Harry, NOT SS/HP. mentor/uncle fic. Summer after 2nd year, HP is sent to live with his uncle SS in order to protect him from SB and is finally able to grow and thrive. Not necessarily a happy family dynamic, maybe they'll never get along or stop being dysfunctional, but home is home. August 2017: still in progress, not abandoned
1. Chapter 1

Begins summer after 2nd year.

Harry's eyes widened in horror as Marge continued to grow in size and floated out the double doors. He took one look at Uncle Vernon's purple face and darted out of the room. The second stair from the top tripped him as he ran, but Vernon's yells prompted him to continue his pace. He dove under his bed and pulled at the floor boards until they were popped and then removed the pillowcase he'd been keeping his food scraps, presents, and books in. With no regard for the floor boards, he ran back downstairs and pulled his trunk out of the cupboard just as Vernon burst from the dining room.

"COME BACK!" Vernon yelled as he grabbed Harry by the collar. "YOU COME BACK AND SET HER RIGHT!"

Harry tried to squirm out of his grip and retrieve his wand from the trunk, but Vernon's grip was too strong. "No! I've had enough. She deserved what she got!" He continued squirming and nervously eyed Vernon's favored fist. Petunia entered screeching and Harry was sure he'd be walking bruised soon enough.

A sudden, curt knock came at the door and everything seemed to freeze. "Petunia!" Vernon hissed as he placed a finger over Harry's lips.

Petunia quickly straightened her previously crisp blouse and put on a pleasant face as she approached the door. She gently opened it and then stepped back in horror. "You!" she hissed.

"Who is it Petunia?" Vernon asked slowly. Petunia shook her head and her hands trembled as she stepped back and a figure entered. "How dare you enter my…."

"Professor!" Harry interrupted. He almost hadn't recognized Snape in his Muggle attire, much less with his hair tied back, but it was the dour potions professor.

Vernon's hand shook as he unintentionally tightened his grip on Harry. "You're one of those freaks, then?"

"Only the worst sort," Petunia hissed as she stepped nearer her husband. "Filthy little bastard. I warned you never to seek us out."

Snape rolled his eyes as he shifted his gaze from Petunia to Harry. "And what, pray tell, has our dear prince Potter done to cause your unpleasant color?"

Vernon released his grip and shoved Harry back against the wall. "What is it to you, how I run my household, hmm?"

"No matter I suppose. However, seeing as the boy is coming with me, I see no reason for you to withhold such…vital information."

A funny smile crossed Vernon's features as he realized he might be rid of Harry for the summer. "This freak, here, went and blew up my sister, refuses to set her right."

The look Snape gave was both cold and calculating and worried Harry immensely. "That is hardly any concern of mine. I should imagine you'll be hearing from the department of underage sorcery shortly." He snarled at Harry and briefly bared his teeth. "Get your things, we're leaving."

"And you can just take the boy like that?" Aunt Petunia asked coolly as she looked Snape up and down. "Lily never wanted him with you, bastard, wanted you as far away from all of us as possible. So did Daddy." She looked to Harry sympathetically. "I won't be held responsible for your perversions rubbing off on him."

Harry's eyes grew wide as Snape let out a cackle. "Fuck you and fuck your dear, dead daddy. Albus Dumbledore sent me and seeing as you have had some rather long and arduous conversations with him previously, I suggest you save yourself the trouble in this instance. Get your things, Potter."

They all stared at Harry as he sucked in a deep breath. "Not him, please, not him. I swear I'll behave."

"Quit your melodramatics, Potter," Snape ordered as he grabbed Harry's trunk and motioned toward the door. "Move." He glared at Petunia as he followed Harry out.

"Sir?" Harry asked quietly as he looked behind him. "Where are we going?"

"The car, you twat." Snape hit Harry's shoulder with force as he passed and set the trunk in the back of his car. He entered the car and swiftly buckled, all the while staring at Harry. Harry could feel his gaze boring into his skull and stared at the house a moment. Snape would be worse than the Dursleys –they were neglectful, sure, but Snape was outright cruel. The man's words replayed in his ears. He'd been sent by Dumbledore and that meant everything was fine. He got into the car and buckled before turning to Snape. "Do not speak."

The first 10 minutes were quiet and nerve-wracking, though not necessarily uncomfortable. "I suppose I should explain," Snape muttered. "Sirius Black escaped with the intention of harming your person. The Headmaster believes you are no longer safe at the Dursley residence. Unfortunately, your mother designed blood wards to keep you safe." He scowled and Harry kept his eyes firmly on the road ahead. "As your only other blood relative, the Headmaster has entrusted you to my care. It is not a decision I agree with or am happy about. Normally, he allows me to spend holidays at home in peace and for whatever reason has decided that you are not to be housed at the school."

"You're my mum's brother?" Harry interrupted. He stared at Snape with particular attention to detail. Maybe they didn't look so dissimilar. Their hair was a similar shade of black and some of their facial features were the same, but the nose was a huge difference. Snape's was obviously hooked.

"Half-brother. Do not interrupt me again. I don't have the option of taking you to the school and I only kept my parents' home for show. Albus has likewise suggested," he paused and shook his head, "that I take you home." He hissed and fell into silence a moment.

Harry curled in on himself as much as possible without putting his feet on the seat. It was every worst nightmare rolled into one. He didn't much feel like apologizing for something that wasn't his fault, but the silence was unnerving.

"Albus is particularly fond of my partner. Bennett…even I have to agree that he's good for me. The point is that he believes I might cause you permanent…issues should there not be a third party."

"You're gay?" Harry asked quietly. Snape having feelings at all surprised him more than anything and it was hard to believe the man might have an actual partner. "Nothing wrong with that, just…. You don't seem like the relationship type."

"Do not interrupt me," Snape continued as if Harry had never spoken. "We are not particularly excited to be hosting you; as such, I suggest you keep to yourself. You will refer to me as sir or professor at all times and Bennett as doctor or sir. Understood?" His voice hadn't lost its edge, but Harry could hear that he was tired, or perhaps just annoyed. He nodded his response and stared out the window as they continued into London.

There were so many questions he wanted to ask –why didn't Dumbledore trust his professor with a student; why was Sirius Black after him? Mostly, he wanted to fight Snape and have a good yell, but he was always harsh with his punishments and now there would be no one to calm him. They parked next to a poorer flat building and Harry trudged along as they climbed the stairs. As awful as the Dursleys were, at least they lived in a safe neighborhood.

Snape roughly unlocked the door and played with it to get it open. "Ben?" he called.

Harry followed him and took everything in. The hanger on the wall held two tattered jackets, under them two pairs of boots. The thinly carpeted hallway led into a cluttered living room. There were two old couches on opposite sides of a coffee table that was littered with books and papers. A television sat in the corner surrounded by tapes. He continued to follow Snape through the tiny flat and tried not to look put off. The kitchen was small and cramped just like everything else. They went down a second hallway that held three doors. Snape threw open the one on the right and dumped Harry's trunk on the floor.

"While I imagine your room at the Dursleys was far more… magnificent, we do not have anywhere else to put you." Snape scowled as he stared at Harry. "I would prefer not to see you again until Ben gets home." He gave a single nod before leaving.

When the door shut, Harry let out a sob and sunk to his knees. His body shook in anger and he tried to keep his temper in check. The shaking in his hands increased and he stood –without a physical outlet, his core might burst again. He took another look around the room –one small bed, desk, and dresser. Unlike the other rooms, it was practically bare. He pulled his trunk up onto the bed and began unpacking his clothes neatly into the dresser. Perhaps Snape would let him take out money from Gringotts for new clothes. Once that was settled, he pulled on his nicest trousers and shirt –even if Snape was still his cold, miserable self, perhaps Ben would be warmer. He quickly organized his school things on the desk and sighed. It didn't feel like his anymore than Dudley's second bedroom did.

"Sev?" Harry heard a voice call. He gently opened the door and took a few cautious steps out. The door across from his opened and Snape stepped out. They stared at each other until the voice interrupted them. "This is him, then?"

Harry turned his head slowly to look at the man. Ben was just a bit taller than Snape, but had a very different build. His muscles popped from under his clothing and his short, blonde hair stuck up in a messy way. "I'm Harry," he muttered.

"It's a pleasure, Harry," Ben said with a soft smile. "Have you settled in well? It's not large, but neither is ours." He stuck his hands in his front pockets and swayed a bit as he looked between them. "How about we take this to the sitting room? Sev and I had some ground rules to discuss with you, right honey?"

"Right," Snape said as he turned into Ben's chest. They shared a long kiss before walking down the hallway, Ben slightly behind Snape. Harry followed, a nervous monster growing in his stomach, and sat on the sofa opposite them.

The silence stretched out for minutes until Ben broke it. "Albus mentioned you don't get along."

This comment caught Harry's attention and he snapped his eyes up. "You know Dumbledore?"

"Professor Dumbledore," Snape snapped.

Ben gently rested his hand on Snape's knee and then rubbed his thigh. "I met Albus in, what, 1980 when Sev took his teaching position. He talks to me when it's convenient. A bit about me –since I'm sure Sev didn't tell you anything –I am a child psychologist specialized in abuse and trauma recovery. Uhm," he considered Snape for a moment, "we've been together since we were 14, nearly 20 years. Tell me about yourself, then."

Harry put on a polite smile. Snape having been with someone for 20 years seemed nearly impossible. "I'll be 13 soon. I, uh, well I play Quidditch, don't know if you know what that is." He shrugged.

"It's a sport, yes," Ben replied. "And school, then? I'm sure Severus is your favorite professor." Harry's eyes grew wide and he briefly looked to Snape. "I'm just joking," Ben continued. "He's a right arse at the best of times." A thin smile crossed Snape's lips and Harry suspected the comment had been made to break tension. "What is your favorite subject, then?"

"Well," Harry started and then stopped. "I don't hate potions," he said quietly and looked at Snape, "just you. I'm good at defense," he shrugged, "so that I guess."

Ben squeezed Snape's thigh tightly. "Hopefully the two of you can move past that. You might find you have rather a lot in common." He looked to Snape and then back to Harry. "In fact, Sev has his other Masters in defense."

Harry shifted on the sofa while they shared a look. It was uncomfortable and rather lumpy, but not as much as the situation. Snape's quiet, raging irritation was obvious and Harry figured Ben would only keep him in line for so long. Once that broke, the insults would fly and there would be nowhere to hide. "So, so that's why you're always trying for the DADA job?" he asked quietly.

Snape shrugged and shook his head. "The Headmaster seems to be incapable of hiring any competent professors for the position. It's late, so we won't draw this out, but you seem to be in need of…." He stopped and looked to Ben. Harry tried to curl up, once again without putting his feet on the sofa –they were going to say something about his clothes. "We live within our means," Snape continued. "Unfortunately, I have a rather meager income and Ben doesn't make enough to compensate." He scowled and Ben again tightened his grip. "We do not buy new clothing. There's a thrift store not far from here that we like and can visit come tomorrow."

A frown appeared on Harry's lips before he knew it. They were poor but still willing to buy him clothes? Maybe he should offer to take the money out of his account? "Thanks," Harry said quietly. "But I don't want to put you out. I have…I have some money in the bank."

"Stop," Ben cut him off and smiled widely. "You're just a child. Children should never have to earn their keep and you don't owe us anything. On that note, why don't we call it a night?" he asked. Harry nodded briefly and slowly stood, partially stuck in the lumps of the sofa. "You need to get going to work?" Ben asked as he drew Snape closer to him.

Harry hurried to his room and sat on the bed staring at the closed door. He could hardly believe it –a deranged mass murderer was after him; Snape was his uncle…his poor, gay uncle; he was finally free of the Dursleys; they were willing to buy him clothes. It was all too much for him to handle, much less understand. A knock came at his door and he paled. It creaked open and Ben popped his head in. "Am I in trouble?" Harry asked quietly.

"Course not," Ben said with a smile. "I just wanted to check that you've eaten today."

"A bit this morning," Harry said with a shrug.

Ben allowed the door to open all the way and leaned against the frame. "This morning? Why, for a growing boy that's just not enough, is it?" Harry shook his head no and rested his chin on his knees. "C'mon." He smiled and waited for Harry to get up before leading him into the kitchen. "Albus didn't give us much notice, so we don't have any kid food, but do help yourself."

Harry looked at the cluttered counters and cautiously pulled the fridge open. There were deli meats, sauces, jams, cheeses, some fresh fruits and vegetables, and a few eggs, but it looked mostly bare. He looked to Ben and gulped. "Can I have a sandwich, please?"

"Certainly," Ben said. He handed Harry a plate and roll. "Have what you'd like." The phone rang and he quickly walked off to answer it.

Harry watched after him and then took the corned beef, Russian dressing, and Swiss cheese out. He placed just a bit of each inside the roll and felt his stomach grumble. It was so tempting to take more and satisfy his hunger, but they clearly didn't have much. He heard Ben finish his conversation and quickly placed everything back in the fridge.

"Did you get enough?" Ben asked. He looked around with a frown. "I'm sure I can find you some crisps."

"No sir, I'm fine." Harry bit into his sandwich and felt relieved. He'd been so sure he wouldn't be eating that night, much less eating something that actually tasted good. It was gone far quicker than he would have liked and left him still hungry. "So…?"

"So," Ben repeated. "I have work that needs doing before tomorrow. I would prefer not to send you to your room, but I do need quiet. If you'd like to do some reading on the sofa or shower…"

"Right." Harry washed his plate and returned to his room so as not to bother. He curled up on the bed, facing the door, and drifted to sleep.

-:-:-:-

He woke hours later to the sound of something fighting to get the front door open and hid under his covers. The sound stopped, he heard the sound of the deadbolt, and then there were footsteps in the hallway. He checked his watch, saw that it was 4:30, and gulped. Whenever Vernon came home that late, he was drunk and looking for a fight. Just when he thought Snape had stopped moving, he heard a clamor on the fire escape outside his window and shot straight out of bed. Fear flooded over him as he drew the curtains, opened the window, and stuck his head outside. Snape was sat under the other window in tight jeans and a loose tank smoking. Harry slowly reentered his room hoping he hadn't been noticed and then heard Snape's voice.

"Come here, Potter!"

Harry sighed and crawled out the window in his shorts and t-shirt. He crossed his arms over his chest as the night wind hit him and plopped down next to Snape. "Yes?"

"Yes sir," Snape corrected. "It's early. Why are you awake?"

"You…you woke me," Harry muttered.

Snape took a long drag off his cigarette and stretched out his legs before answering. "I tend bar at a club not far from here a few nights per week. In the future I will be quieter coming in." He took another long drag. "Albus asked that I not use any drugs in front of you, Potter."

Harry considered the cigarette and pulled his knees into his chest. "I won't tell, sir."

"Potter, when adults ask children to keep secrets, it opens the door to abuse. I was merely commenting that Albus will be disappointed when you tell him. I was not asking you to lie." He cleared his throat and put out his smoke. "Ben will leave for work around 7. I will be awake closer to 10." He stood and shook his head one last time as he stared at Harry. "Do not cause him any trouble."


	2. Chapter 2

Harry woke briefly when Ben left for the day but quickly fell back to sleep. It was not for a few more hours that a knock came at his door. He trudged out of bed, readied for the day, and tried not to wear anything too awful. "Good morning, sir."

Snape looked up from his tea and nodded. "Potter. Eat and we will get your wardrobe sorted."

Harry nodded and took a jam from the fridge. He maneuvered around Snape and took just a single slice of bread. "Did you sleep well, sir?"

"Well enough," Snape said. He stayed quiet while Harry finished eating and then ordered him to find his shoes.

As they walked out of the flat building and into the street, Harry looked around with particular interest. The building was a bit run down and the people leaning against the walls hardly made him feel safe. After just a few blocks, they were in a shopping district and entered a store.

There was nothing special, but everything looked like it was in decent condition. He turned to find Snape, saw that he was chatting with someone, and started surveying the racks. A few pairs of jeans caught his eye and he hurriedly took them to the fitting room. The first pair was light blue with frays and patches stylishly adorning the front, cuffed bottoms, and buttons instead of a zipper. Much to his surprise, they fit perfectly. He checked the tag and frowned.

"Let me see!" Snape ordered. Not wanting to frustrate him, Harry walked out in the jeans and bit into his bottom lip. "It appears you have some sense of fashion…Harry." He shook his head.

"They're expensive…"

"Dad, in public," Snape hissed. He grabbed the tag and read it. "The price is fine. Show me the next pair."

Harry nodded and rushed back into the stall. There was no way he would call either of them dad, if he could avoid it. Snape hated him, hated his father. Nobody but James Potter would ever get to be called that. The next pair was dark blue and neat. They weren't quite as comfortable as the other pair, but they were cheap and rather nice. He stepped out and stared at Snape. "How about these?" Snape nodded, muttered that they were fine, and then ordered Harry to meet him in shirts.

A rack of tanks similar to the one he'd seen Snape wearing early that morning caught his eye and he pulled off three: one scarlet red, one forest green, the other white. He met Snape at the next rack and looked at the t-shirts. The crew-necks seemed a bit boyish, so he chose three of the v-neck style Snape was wearing: one white, one black, one blue. "That's all I need, sir," he muttered. At Snape's raised eyebrow, he corrected himself. "That's all I need, dad."

Snape growled in irritation and grabbed the back of Harry's shirt when he tried to run. "A coat, if you please." Harry nodded and quietly agreed to the coat Snape picked out –it was tweed, well lined and would certainly keep him warm. He diverted his eyes while Snape paid and felt awful for having not contributed anything.

"Thank you," Harry said quietly after they'd been walking a few minutes.

"You need clothes, food, and a safe place to sleep. I don't suggest you expect more than that," Snape muttered without looking at Harry.

When they returned, Harry changed into his loose pair of jeans and a tank. It felt so nice to finally wear something that fit properly. He figured if he mentioned needing new shorts and socks, they'd get them for him, but felt like they'd done more than enough. Figuring he ought to get started on his summer work, he picked up the potions text from his desk and quietly walked to the sitting room. "Oh," he said when he saw that Snape was sat on a sofa. "I'll just read in my room, then."

"Sit, Potter," Snape said without looking up from the essays he was grading. He let Harry read for a few minutes before speaking again. "Any particular reason you've waited until now to start that?"

"Yes, sir," Harry blushed. "They locked up my books so I couldn't. History of Magic was smallest, so I snuck it but…." He shrugged and then returned to his reading.

Snape set aside his pen and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Be that as it may, it is no excuse for your performance during the school year. As long as Albus insists you live here, you will complete your work to my standards. I suggest you pay close attention to the ingredients and how they are prepared."

They worked for a few hours in silence before Snape tossed the essays on the coffee table, groaned, and sunk further into the sofa. "Potter?" Harry looked up at him from under his fringe. "Would you mind terribly if I had a smoke?"

Harry shook his head and tried to focus on his book. "Sir? Can I ask why you smoke?"

"Have you never seen someone smoke before, Potter?" he asked.

"No sir."

Snape leaned forward and considered Harry a moment. "I am addicted to nicotine, therefore I smoke. I started smoking nicotine for fun and later it helped to cut my cocaine addiction. Of course, had a certain person not given me coke as a teen, that whole mess would have been avoided."

"Oh."

"Yes, oh." Snape picked the essays up and readied his pen. "Tell me Potter, has anyone ever offered you drugs or asked you to do something for money?"

Harry gently marked the page and closed his book. "No sir."

"Perhaps for food or shelter, then?"

"No." Harry frowned and shifted in his seat. The line of questioning had made him rather uncomfortable. "Somebody did that to you?"

Snape scowled while he took a drag. "That's not important, but yes. Ben asked that I establish a healthy repertoire with you and I know little about your previous interactions with…adults. The readiness with which Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall excuse your behavior is not conductive to your personal growth."

Harry tapped his fingers on his thigh –the last thing he needed was a lecture on how spoilt he was. "I don't ask them to. And what does that have to do with drugs and money, anyways?"

"Lower your voice," Snape said slowly. He waited for Harry to physically calm before continuing. "You severely need discipline, as did I at your age. It was too late for Ben's dad to set me on a decent path –years of trauma and abuse sealed my fate. Short of anything in your past awful enough to leave permanent damage, I promise to succeed in rehabilitating your temper."

Trauma and abuse? Harry's eyes grew wide. Maybe the Dursleys were neglectful, but not abusive. "They…well they made me live in a cupboard, but…."

"A cupboard?" Snape repeated.

"And they didn't always feed me much. Sometimes Uncle Vernon hit me, but that's it, really!"

Snape took a long drag and raised his eyebrows. "I had no intentions of starving you or locking you in any small dark spaces. Nor do I believe you would have a positive reaction to physical intimidation." He took a long pause. "However, I think you will do well in a more physical environment. Ben's parents, the Bagleys, live on a farm just 7 miles outside of Cokeworth."

"Cokeworth?" Harry asked. He thought for a moment. "I've been there."

"Do not interrupt me," Snape warned. "Every year since…1974, I've patched up the barn with Mister Bagley. Ben takes his vacation and we stay there for two weeks. This year it needs a full rebuild. If you would prefer not to go…."

"That sounds fun," Harry interrupted. He gave a shy smile and rubbed his hands on his trousers. "I've never been to the country."

"Shut up and do your work."

When Ben returned hours later with groceries, Harry was glad to see him. Snape had refused to continue any further conversation and Harry had long grown tired of the silence. "I can help," he said as he followed Ben into the kitchen.

"Sev has bored you with his excellent conversational skills, I see," Ben joked as he put the sausages in a pan. "You look nice."

Harry looked down at his new clothes and blushed. "Thanks, sir."

Ben nodded and started cutting potatoes. "He discussed visiting my parents with you, I hope. I've told them we're minding you and they are excited to meet you." He turned and pointed to the fridge. "If you'd like to prepare the spinach for me…."

Harry nodded and took the spinach from the fridge. The Dursleys hadn't often asked him to prepare spinach, Vernon didn't particularly like it, but he set to it, sure to make even cuts. "Do your parents not like Professor Snape?" he asked quietly.

"They like him just fine, Harry."

"He called your dad Mister Bagley, is all," Harry muttered.

Ben washed off the potatoes before putting them in a pot of water. "Sev had a rough childhood, an even rougher adolescence, and the choices he made earned him a reputation. They get along well, but, for personal reasons, Severus chose to keep that barrier between them… similar to his insistence on keeping a barrier between the two of you."

Harry cleared his throat and kept his gaze on the cutting board. "A bad reputation? My aunt said something about…perversions."

"He was just a teenager in a rough spot, Harry. Perhaps he will tell you if he feels it is appropriate." He sighed and checked Harry's progress. "I know what she was implying and you should know we have no interest in it."

-:-:-:-

A loud noise at the door woke him at 4:30 again and he stared at the door until he heard Snape pass. It felt pathetic to sit there, afraid him. There had been no indication that either man meant him any harm, but Petunia's words kept coming back. He heard Snape out on the fire escape and gulped before standing. "You aren't afraid of him," he muttered as he pulled his window open. "Good morning, sir."

Snape didn't look at him as he sat. "Why are you out here, Potter?"

"I don't know," Harry said quietly.

"If you were really so worried about me being a pervert…." Snape shook his head.

"I'm not," Harry interrupted. He pulled at the frays of his shorts and rested his chin on his knees.

Snape considered him carefully. "My parents died in a car crash during my third year and the school denied me scholarship. Your aunt and the rest of Cokeworth did not approve of how I came up with the money."

Harry bit into his bottom lip. "Surely my grandparents helped."

Snape cackled and then coughed. "Oh yes, Mister Evans contributed just as much as everyone else's father and uncle."

Pity filled Harry as he looked at Snape. Clearly, whatever had happened had been awful. He thought for a moment about how much Hogwarts cost and what he might possibly do if he had to pay it all by himself and suddenly felt sick. "You were a prostitute."

"You can't deduce from obvious facts, yet I comment on people contributing and you conclude that I hustled?" Snape asked with a sneer. "A rather unfortunate guess on your part." Harry gulped and looked at the window above Snape's head. "We've been together 19 years Potter, of course he knew."

Harry curled in on himself to keep from shaking. "Doctor Bagley's parents?"

"Were kind but never approved. They would have preferred for Ben to have done better. I am not telling you this as a form of bonding, Potter. I simply don't want you to get the wrong idea."

"Of course not," Harry said as he leaned further against the wall. "Do you hate me?"

Snape slowly turned his head until their gazes met. "Cruelty happens to be easy for me. You annoy me and the cruelty comes naturally. It isn't personal, per se. Are you really so starved for normal interaction as to reach out to someone who is intentionally cruel?"

Harry gasped and ducked his head. "No!"

"Liar." Snape shook his head and returned his gaze to the horizon. "Mind the extent to which you view me as a mentor, Potter. Then again, if you return a greasy git it might be enough to get me fired."

He stared intently at Snape. As much as he hated the man, he couldn't help but want for things to work. Maybe having not turned 13 yet meant he could still have…something. "So…. You wouldn't mind being fired?"

"I hate children," Snape hissed. "If you could live anywhere, where would it be?" He shook out his arms before pulling his legs up.

Harry rubbed his legs and felt the goose bumps. Sitting outside in his pajamas was not the wisest idea. "I don't know –somewhere quiet, I guess; somewhere where I'm not the Harry Potter." He shrugged and tried to keep his legs from shaking. "And you, sir? Do you like living in the city?"

He looked out on the buildings while he waited for Snape to speak. The clutter was almost distressing and suffocating. With the city smog he could barely see the stars.

"No," Snape whispered. "I would prefer to be on the farm, with the open sky and no neighbors for miles; with my gorgeous husband and a few animals. I've grown rather tired of your presence and suggest you retire."

Not needing to be told twice, Harry scurried back to bed. The extent to which Snape calmed in the open air after a smoke was incredible. He couldn't wait to get to the farm.


	3. Chapter 3

When he woke the next day and found that it was nearing noon, Harry jumped out of bed and rushed into the sitting room. Snape looked up slowly in disgust. "Why are you stomping?"

"I didn't mean to sleep so late," Harry blubbered. He ducked his head and winced, expecting at the least some sort of verbal blow.

"Should I care about your sleeping patterns, Potter?" Snape scowled. "Are you a toddler that needs your sleep regulated?"

Harry frowned and sat on the opposite sofa. "No sir? Aren't you angry though?"

Snape blinked repeatedly. "Are you accustomed to being punished for sleeping as you desire?" Harry nodded. "You are old enough not to need constant adult supervision."

"Okay," Harry muttered. "Uhm, so, are you just going to take two weeks off from your job? Or are we commuting?"

"A friend of mine owns the club. I don't work weekends anyways and he has a hard time filling the other nights." Snape picked his pen back up and pointed toward the kitchen as if to tell Harry to leave.

Harry shuffled into the kitchen and buttered a muffin. They'd made it perfectly clear that they weren't his parents, but to give him no boundaries at all was a bit intense. Was he really supposed to just determine for himself what was and wasn't a good idea? He went back into the sitting room and stopped at the end of the coffee table. "So, am I allowed to leave sir?"

Snape shrugged. "I see how it is Potter –you'd rather risk Black killing you than spend the day here."

"No, sir! I…I didn't…."

"I am going to the gym in a few hours, should you like to join me. Otherwise, no. Until we trust you, you are not to leave unsupervised."

Harry crossed his arms over his chest and stared at him for a moment before huffing. "Okay." He wanted to say how unfair it was, wanted to remind Snape that the Dursleys let him go where ever he pleased, but decided the punishment wouldn't be worth it. "When are we leaving?"

By the time 3 o'clock rolled around, Harry was sick of his potions reading. He'd read it again knowing he'd missed whatever he was supposed to get out of it, but nothing caught his eye the second time around. For a moment he wondered if he should mention to Snape that he clearly didn't have anything to go to the gym in, but then a knock came at the door. He pulled it open and grabbed the clothes that were shoved into his face. "They've been washed. Pack a change of clothes," Snape said before walking away.

The shorts were modest enough and thankfully not too tight, though they did provide nice compression in his thighs. Not wanting to clash with their blue color, he pulled on a white tank and his loose jeans and stuck an extra shirt and shorts in the bag Snape had given him before meeting the older man at the door in his trainers –they were the one thing he'd bothered to take serious money from his account for and was rather proud of the state of them.

They walked half a mile to a boutique gym and said a quick hello to the receptionist before going to the locker room. "Did you know him?" Harry asked as he placed his jeans and bag in a locker.

"One of Ben's friends owns the joint," Snape replied. His shorts were a good inch shorter than Harry's and he wore a looser tank with open arm holes. "Most of the crowd here is queer. Should you feel uncomfortable…." Harry shook his head no and bounced on his toes a bit while Snape dug out two water bottles.

He whipped his head around wildly as they passed through the weight room. Men of all different body types and ages were grunting and sweating as they lifted and operated the machinery. Disappointment washed over him briefly as they continued walking.

Snape forcefully pushed open a door and strutted in. "Boys! This is the kid," he pulled Harry in front of him. Harry glanced at the group of men all seated on stationary bikes and smiled. "Kid," Snape said as he pushed Harry forward, "these are the boys."

They all greeted him while Snape adjusted their bikes and it lightened his mood. He'd been lonely for so long. The seat was not particularly comfortable, but after a few quick adjustments it was tolerable. A gorgeous, muscular black man, Owen, mounted the instructor's bike and greeted them all with a smile and joke. Harry could barely take his eyes off him as he warmed up, listening intently to the instructions on how to change resistance.

Every time Owen looked his way he diverted his eyes and focused on peddling. He was supposed to like girls…girls like Ginny, but watching the sweat drip off the muscles of the men around him was the most arousing thing he'd ever experienced. After just 15 minutes, he felt himself start to slow. The muscles in his upper thighs and butt burned and he winced.

"Pick it up, Harry," Snape ordered as they stood and peddled against the increased resistance. "You're athletic, remember?"

"Right," Harry huffed. Oliver loved making them run at Quidditch practice and that was fine. The biking felt completely different though and he burned in places he never thought possible. After another 15 minutes, he was ready to call it quits but Owen kept telling them to keep going. "Uh…dad?"

"Problem?" Snape asked. He groaned, turned up his resistance, and peddled faster.

Harry's breathing grew labored and he felt as if he'd completely soaked through his clothes. "When can we be finished?"

Snape leaned back, took his hands off the handlebar, and looked up to the clock on the wall. "10 more minutes and then cool down."

It seemed impossible, but Harry ducked his head and tried to keep up. No way he'd let Snape give him hell for quitting early. When Owen finally told them to turn down the resistance and spin out, he sat back and couldn't tell if it was tears or sweat dripping down his cheeks. They stretched their arms and Harry finally felt his heart rate slow. Snape helped him off the bike and he followed the instructions on stretching out his calves all the while wondering if his legs might give out.

As soon as they finished stretching, Harry sat and pulled his knees into his chest. Owen kneeled in front of him and grinned. "You're new, right? I didn't catch your name."

"Harry."

They shook hands and Harry felt a blush rise in his cheeks. "Why don't we stand?" Owen asked as he pulled at Harry's hand. After a slight wobble, Harry was up and lightheaded. "So did you like my class?"

"Yeah," Harry answered quickly. "It…uh, it was intense."

"But good, I hope. Nothing better than a good burn in your ass, assuming you're anything like your father."

"What was that about something in my ass?" Snape asked with raised eyebrows as he approached them.

Owen smirked, clearly unaware of the danger in Snape's expression. "Haven't seen Ben in ages. I guess you're finally old enough to happily take him no matter what he looks like."

Snape snorted and nodded ironically. "Certain things get better with age, you little asshole. And seeing as he's still far more fuckable than you are…." He smacked Owen's butt and scowled. "Are you adequately cool, Harry?"

Harry nodded and smiled sadly at Owen before following Snape back to the locker room where he finished off his water before pulling the locker open. He pulled his shirt off and felt the moisture on his hands. "Yuck."

"It's just sweat," Snape teased as he tossed a towel into Harry's face.

"Thanks." Harry tried not to look around much as he wiped down and pulled on his clean clothes. "Do you do that often?"

"Few times a week." Snape almost pulled Harry out of the gym and kept a close eye on him as they walked back. "At your age, I'm sure certain comments go over your head, but if you hear anything that you need explained you may ask."

Harry looked up at Snape in shock. The man was still unbelievably distant and that wouldn't change, but he also wasn't quite as uptight. "You mean stuff like how you're old now and take it happily no matter what Ben looks like? That seems pretty straightforward…dad."

Snape scoffed and walked faster. The increased pace inflamed the soreness in Harry's legs, but he still kept up. When they arrived back, Snape ordered him to the shower.

He turned on the water a moment and figured it would heat –when it didn't, he turned the handle further and further and just barely got the water to lukewarm. For the first two minutes, he felt like he was freezing but gradually adjusted to the temperature. He picked the razor up off the ledge while he let the shampoo set. It didn't make sense to have it in the shower unless one of them shaved something other than their face. He put it back, rinsed the shampoo out of his hair, and washed off before jumping out and grabbing a towel.

Goosebumps popped up all over his skin and he continued shivering even after getting dressed. He went to his room and curled up under the covers with his potions book. This time he looked at just the ingredients and tried to picture how it would be made. Suddenly it dawned on him that it wasn't how he remembered brewing it last time in class, which meant that Snape had given them revised instructions. His heart sank as he realized there was no chance he'd bothered to copy down the instructions and likewise no way for him to complete the assignment.

It sounded like Snape was in the shower, so he curled up further and tried to imagine how the potion could possibly be changed. Nothing specific came to mind and he wasn't surprised –it wasn't like he really paid attention to what Snape said. He picked up his book and threw it at the door. How dare Snape give them impossible homework!

The door swung open and he buried his head under the cover. He could hear Snape walking toward him and held his breath. The book hit his thigh with force and he yelped. "Leave me alone!" Harry yelled. Snape smacked him with the book again and then pulled back the cover.

"You may not use that tone with me, Potter." Snape snarled. "Now sit up and tell me why you're throwing things." Harry groaned as he sat and then pulled the blanket around his shoulders and shivered. "The building's hot water system broke last year, Potter. It's just something you'll have to get used to. Now explain yourself."

Harry ducked his head and frowned. Was he supposed to be sorry for yelling? "I figured out your homework is all," he muttered.

Snape raised a single eyebrow and tossed the book onto the bed. "And yet you're distressed. Perhaps because you did not bother to adequately do your work last term?"

"Yes sir," Harry groaned. "But…but maybe since I reflect you now, or whatever, you…you could help me?"

After Snape considered him for a long moment with a nasty look, he spoke. "You, young man, are lucky I do not believe in fairness." He placed his hands on the bed and bent over until he was at Harry's eye level. "You will not get any more passes from me. Should you disappoint or embarrass me, I will feel inclined to discipline you and you will not enjoy it."

Harry pulled the blanket up further around his head and nodded. He didn't want to be afraid of Snape. He wanted to fight back, but being yelled at was almost enjoyable –nobody had ever cared enough about his grades to yell at him. Though, he supposed, Snape had always cared about that stuff and had always yelled at him about following the rules and getting good grades. "I understand, sir," Harry whispered and gave a shy smile. "Do we really not have any hot water?"

"No," Snape sighed and stepped back. "We can't afford to move and the landlord can't afford to replace the hot water system. Grab your blanket and we'll start sorting out potions."

He left and Harry gulped. The man was an awful teacher and didn't want anything to do with him. He pulled the blanket up, slowly walked to the sitting, and plopped down next to Snape. "Okay."

Snape flipped open a notebook and started writing out directions. "Can you tell me what the difference between these instructions and the other set is?" Harry looked at it closely and shook his head, no. "What don't you understand about them?"

"Well," Harry started, "I don't know. The measurements, I guess."

"Did you attend primary school?" Snape asked and then sighed.

"Yeah," Harry muttered, "but…I wasn't allowed to get good grades and I don't always read well."

Snape grunted and tapped his pen on the notebook. "Do you understand what 5/8 of an ounce is on a scale?" Harry shook his head, no. "Do you know how to divide 5 by 8?" Again, Harry shook his head no, but this time in shame. Snape huffed and set the notebook aside. "Why weren't you allowed to get good grades?"

Harry shrugged and pulled the blanket tighter. "'Cuz I wasn't supposed to be better than Dudley. I like school, I do, just…nobody's ever really taught me that stuff properly. My teachers said I was trouble and nobody helped me do my homework, so…maybe I gave up a bit."

"You're a child, Potter. The adults in your life should value your education. In the spirit of that, I'll write out a schedule to catch you up on maths before term. We can start now with you telling me everything you know about multiplication and division."


	4. Chapter 4

Harry was sat on his bed staring at the workbook Snape had bought him. It felt wrong to let them pay for extra school things when they were poor and already taking care of him, but they'd said kids weren't supposed to pay for that stuff. He briefly remembered multiplication and division from primary school, but always had a hard time with the numbers. When he looked at them, everything got jumbled, but Snape was sure they could sort it out.

He'd already packed his bag for their trip to the farm and could hear Snape and Ben arguing over what lube to take from their room. Maybe they didn't realize he could hear practically everything, at all hours of the night, or maybe they just didn't care, but it felt oddly homey. He never thought he'd get to hear two adults fighting over normal, domestic things.

Snape pushed his door open and Harry called after him. "Should I bring my blanket?"

"And offend the blankets at the Bagleys?" After a moment, Snape stuck his head in the door. "For the car ride, if you would like. Now come on."

Harry hauled his bag and blanket down to the car and made himself comfortable in the backseat. Ben and Snape didn't argue as Snape sat behind the wheel and they left. "Harry," Ben said without looking up from his book, "I don't know if Sev mentioned it, but he left a rather large amount of clothing at my parents back when we were younger and he was shorter. We don't exactly have the money to buy you a new wardrobe for the farm and well…. Your build is rather similar to what Sev's used to be."

"I have clothes," Harry said.

Snape chuckled and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. "It's a farm, Potter. You're going to get dirty and stinky and probably trash at least a few shirts. They might as well be older than you."

They drove in silence other than the radio and Harry kept his eyes on the scenery out of the window. He'd never seen the parts of London they drove through and frowned when they entered Cokeworth –it was such a rundown little town. The buildings were ugly and just made him feel depressed. When they got out of town a bit, things changed and there were rolling hills of farm land. A two story farm house approached on the horizon and he felt excited –he'd never really been on vacation before.

He grabbed his bag from the trunk and followed them inside. "Mam?" Ben called. "Dad?"

A woman with graying hair and a happy complexion stepped out in an apron and placed her hands on her hips. "He does sort of look like you, doesn't he?" she said with a smile.

Snape groaned as he looked down at Harry. "I suppose so." He hung back while Ben hugged his mother and then pushed Harry forward. "This is our dear Mister Potter. Harry, this is Missus Bagley."

"Will you stop it?" she asked as she smacked Snape in the chest with her ovenmits. "19 years and you can't call me by my name. Billie, dear," she extended her hand to Harry.

Harry glanced up at Snape, saw the look on his face, and shook her hand. "It's a pleasure, Missus Bagley. Thanks…thanks for having me." He looked up and saw Snape's nod.

Billie scowled at Snape. "You're a miserable bastard, Severus. You call us whatever you're comfortable with, Harry." She smacked Snape again and huffed. "I'll let the boys show you your room and get dinner out. A growing boy like you ought to be hungry."

As they watched her leave, Ben glared at Snape. "Come along, Harry." Ben pointed Harry into a room and kept walking.

Snape stopped and showed Harry in. "This was Ben's brother's room. Last I checked the clothes I left here are in the dresser."

Harry nodded as he looked at the small room. There was a single bed and a dresser, no desk. The quilt on the bed looked handmade and he noticed old posters hanging on the walls. Most were bands he'd never heard of, but it gave the room personality. "Why's Doctor Bagley angry, sir?"

"I keep his family at a distance," Snape muttered and leaned against the doorframe. "I keep everybody but Ben at a distance. You will show the Bagleys respect, Potter. If I hear anything else…."

"I am generally well behaved, sir," Harry said loudly and slammed the drawer he'd put his trousers in.

Snape raised his eyebrows. "You may not yell at me. Change your clothes." He stepped away and then turned back. "Potter, I have spent years requesting better behavior out of you –decent grades, no detentions, respect for school rules –and you have seriously underwhelmed. I don't care how well behaved you think you are, you display no respect for my authority; you refuse to take adults seriously and ask for help. Does any of that bare repeating?" Harry shook his head no and blushed as he looked at the floor. "Behave!" Snape pushed off the door frame and entered the next room.

Harry could hear them arguing as he unpacked and took inventory of the clothes. He showed respect to his teachers, mostly, right? Maybe he didn't bother with following certain rules, but people would get hurt! He heard Snape hiss that he'd stolen from his potions supplies and frequently left the common room after curfew and sighed. They had stolen from Snape's potions stores and they hadn't even learned anything by using the Polyjuice. The curfew issue… he'd snuck out almost every night after finding the mirror 1st year and frequently enough 2nd year, but didn't other people do that too? He heard Snape hiss a bit quieter that he'd been trying to keep him safe, been putting his neck on the line when nobody else cared, that he and Dumbledore had been fighting about it.

He pulled on Snape's old jeans, a white t-shirt, and a flannel, plaid button-down and sat on the floor. Everything Snape was saying was true –he was a thief who broke curfew and got into trouble –but what did that have to do with respecting adults, with respecting Snape? A smack pulled him from his thoughts and he looked around for the source of the sound. Had it come from his room? "Dinner Potter," Snape yelled as he passed the door.

As a last thought, he put on socks and then hurried to the kitchen. "Uh, hi Mister Bagley," he said and extended his hand to the graying man across the table. As he sat next to Snape he tried to keep the surprise off his. Seeing Snape and Ben on opposite sides of the table was awkward, but the purple mark on Snape's left cheek was unexpected.

"Call me Ivor, Harry. Don't they look rather a lot alike?" Ivor commented.

Harry blushed and ducked his head. Getting compared to Snape was tiresome and he couldn't really see it. "So, you have a really nice house," Harry said.

"Thanks, darling. Take some dinner," Billie said as she placed a pan in the middle of the table.

He hesitated and noticed that Snape was also waiting. After the 3 Bagleys took their portions of the sausage, onions and peppers, and potatos, Snape cut one of the sausages in half and took a very modest portion. Harry decided to follow his lead and took the other half, despite there still being 2 other sausages. Ben talked about his work and how excited he was for his new project and nobody paid Harry or Snape much mind.

Billie looked to pan and frowned when she finished. "I've given up on trying to get Severus to eat properly, but you're young Harry. Surely you're still hungry."

Harry gulped and shook his head no. He was hungry. He hadn't stopped being hungry since moving in with Snape and Ben, but that wasn't their fault. There was no way he'd ever take more food than he needed. She sighed but let the matter drop.

Ivor grunted as he stood and patted his round stomach. "What do you boys say to a quick match of cricket then?" Harry followed the three men into the yard after giving Billie a shy smile –he really should have helped with the dishes. "How're we splitting, Severus?"

Snape scowled as he glanced between Harry and Ben. "Potter here is rather athletic."

"I don't play cricket," Harry muttered.

Ben gently patted Harry's shoulder. "I'm not very athletic, myself, but humoring the two of them can be enjoyable. If you don't want to play…."

"It's not that!" Harry interrupted. "I don't…know…how…to play cricket. Nobody's ever taught me." He huffed and stuck his hands in his pockets and swayed on his feet. "You play. I'll watch and try to figure it out."

"I see," Snape hissed. "I do not suggest you use that tone with me again." Ben stepped forward and placed his arm in front of Harry but backed off when Snape glared at him. "Hit the ball with the flat side of the bat. Run back and forth between the marks as many times as possible before you're tagged out with the ball. Mister Bagley and I will bowl. When you're not batting, you'll be chasing the ball. Are those directions clear?" Harry gulped and nodded. He hated the way Snape spoke to him, but at least it never left him with any questions.

Igor cleared his throat and smiled at Harry before turning a frustrated look on Snape. "It wouldn't kill you to be kinder."

Snape grimaced as he turned to face the other man head on. "He does not need love and coddling. He needs attention and discipline. In the spirit of giving attention, he'll play with me. You can bowl first." He pulled Harry aside and handed him the bat. "Hold it like this," he instructed. "You've got it?" Harry nodded and handed the bat back. Snape shoved a glove into his hands and ordered him to put it on. "It fits well enough," Snape commented. "I am a highly competitive person," he whispered, "but in this case you should just do your best."

Harry held the bat carefully as he approached the wicket and saw Snape squat behind it. His hands were sweaty and the bat felt almost heavy, but there was no backing down. Ivor wound up and bowled. Harry could see the spin on the ball and tensed for just a moment too long before swinging. Snape huffed as he threw the ball back. "Eyes forward, Potter. If you have to move your gaze, you might as well swing," Snape yelled. Harry nodded and bit into his lip before readying himself.

The ball came same as the time before, but this time Harry swung earlier. He heard the thwack and froze –he'd hit it. "Damn it, Potter, run!" Snape yelled as he shoved Harry forward. He reached the end of the field and started back, a grin on his face. It felt good to run and play. Snape stopped him as he reached the wicket and he realized Ivor already had the ball back.

"That was good?" Harry asked as he bounced up on his toes. He wanted to hear Snape say it –that for the first time, he thought Harry had succeeded.

"I never doubted you would perform admirably." Snape rolled his eyes and ordered Harry to mind the wickets. He swung the bat playfully as he waited for Ivor to bowl and then hit it on the first try with an echoing thwack. Harry was astounded at the distance the ball flew and the speed the man ran with. Obviously, he'd underestimated him. Snape scored 2 points and Harry gulped –he'd have to do better so that Snape could win.

They switched to field and Harry bounced on his toes nervously. Ben missed the first ball Snape bowled and blushed as he prepared to bat again. "You've got this, love," Snape yelled as he wound up. Harry could tell that Snape had pitched slower than the first time and thought it was sweet. He watched the ball sail through the air and ran backwards. "Catch it Potter!"

It landed a few feet behind Harry and as he picked it up he noticed that Ben had started his second run. He lobbed it to Snape and then watched him chase Ben back to the wicket. Ben successfully made it back before Snape grabbed him by the waist and picked him up. Harry smiled while Ivor chastised them –it was so nice to see something domestic and normal. He'd never seen Missus and Mister Weasley chase each other around and laugh like that; he sincerely doubted Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were even capable of it.

After almost an hour, he noticed Ben start to slow down and was relieved that Snape called a water break. He followed Ivor inside and accepted the water offered. "Is Doctor Bagley okay?"

"Bennet was frequently ill as a child, still is," Ivor said quietly. "I imagine Severus will call the game, give us all an early night."

Harry nodded and swayed. Should he just go to bed? He peered out the window and saw that Snape was curled around Ben, laughing. "Goodnight," he said to Ivor and Billie before rushing to his room.


	5. Chapter 5

The smell of bacon woke Harry –he saw that it was still mostly dark and checked the time: 5:30. He dressed in loose, faded jeans, a white t-shirt, and a green plaid shirt. "Good morning," he muttered as he entered the kitchen and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"What are you doing up, Potter?" Snape asked as Harry sat next to him.

"I dunno, everybody else is up."

Snape nodded and sipped his juice. "Mister Bagley and I need to get working on the barn. You are welcome to return to bed." He thanked Billie when she placed a platter on the table and then took some sausage, bacon, eggs, and toast.

"I can help," Harry said as he gave himself an equal portion.

"That's a wonderful idea," Ivor said as he looked up from his morning paper. "I'm getting a bit old to be doing everything. Besides, building is always fun when you're a boy."

They finished up and Harry followed the two men out to a clearing with stacked wood and 4 beams standing upright. "Ought to have dried by now," Snape muttered as he tried to shake one of the posts. He and Harry held the cross beams while Ivor hammered them in and before Harry knew it, they were breaking for lunch and covered in sweat.

He stared at the calluses that were starting to form on his palms while Billie made them sandwiches. They burned and itched a little, but he'd actually had fun lifting and using the nail gun. The sandwich was bigger than what he would have made for himself, but he wasn't sure it would be enough. Ivor passed him a beer and he glanced at Snape.

"In this household, anybody who spends the day working their tail off gets beer," Ivor said and winked. "I hope you at least got something out of today. It isn't the most exciting work…."

"It was great!" Harry said between bites. "I've never built anything before." He sipped on his beer and swung his feet under the table. "Harder than I thought it would be, though."

Ben stumbled in and then checked his watch. "Oh, you're done already! Good! You can go into town with me." Snape shook his head and continued eating. "Sev, things will be fine. Missus Evans hardly shows her face anymore, right mam?"

Billie shrugged and fidgeted with her apron. "I suppose it's been some months since we've seen her –should be safe."

Harry looked between them all. "Evans? My grandmother?"

Snape nodded slowly. "She still lives in town. I'll go, but if we run into her…"

"We'll leave," Ben finished.

Once they'd finished lunch, they grabbed a few cloth bags and old bikes and set off for town. Harry wobbled a bit, but refused to admit to Snape that he'd never really ridden one before. After the first mile, riding became easy and he relished the feel of the wind in his hair. Just like in spin class, he grew sore after the first 15 minutes but held in.

They reached town and Harry tried to hide his scowl. After just a day at the farm, the industrial air was appalling. The tiny store was a bit run down and practically empty. He stayed with Snape when he and Ben split up and followed just behind him. A pack of flavored crisps caught his eye, but he pushed it aside. It wouldn't be fair to ask them for anything.

Snape glanced over his shoulder and sighed. "You may get one thing."

"No!" Harry argued. He glanced back at the crisps and shook his head. "I don't need them. I just like looking."

"Because Petunia never let you buy treats?"

"I don't need them," Harry repeated quietly. Snape raised his eyebrows and nodded toward the crisps. Harry gulped as he took them off the shelf and placed them in the bag –it felt so selfish. He continued following and tried not to let Snape see him look at anything else.

They were nearly at the bakery when Snape suddenly stopped, ducked his head, and turned around. "You!" the woman at the bakery shrieked.

Snape winced as he turned back toward her. "Missus Evans, it is a pleasure." Harry froze on the spot and tried to hide his fear –the anger dripping from Snape's every word was terrifying.

She strutted forward, her long red hair tied tightly back, and reminded Harry of his aunt. "How dare you show your face here? And this," she motioned toward Harry, "after all the years you spent embarrassing our husbands you continue on with your lifestyle?"

Snape's jaw dropped open and he blinked as he stared at her. "You'll catch flies like that sir," Harry muttered. When Snape glanced down at him he puffed his chest out and squared his shoulders. He didn't particularly want to do it, but he couldn't just stand by. "Leave my dad alone."

"Dad!" the woman spat. "Pathetic! Introduce yourself properly, boy!"

Harry bit into his lip and felt Snape tug at the back of his shirt. He hadn't missed her name and knew full well who he was talking to. If that was how she behaved in public, he supposed he'd been lucky the family member Dumbledore sent him to after the Dursleys was Snape. He shrugged hard enough to dislodge Snape's grip and extended his hand to her. "Harry Potter."

She very nearly dropped her bag as she raised her gaze up to Snape. "How dare you! He's coming with me!"

"No!" Harry shouted.

"Do you know what he is?" she asked as she tried to smile at Harry.

"A shitty professor, a miserable bastard, and an overgrown bat," Harry hissed. "What's it to you?" She looked appalled and took a step back to recompose.

Snape chuckled. "You forgot greasy git…Harry," he said and raised his eyebrows at the end.

"Didn't think it needed mentioning," Harry muttered. He felt his cheeks go red and wanted to cry –he'd always hoped for more family members than the Dursleys and here they were, an uncle and a grandmother. How the hell could he possibly want anything to do with her when she was standing there bullying? Snape was cold and distant, but hadn't been a bully once over the summer, just during term. He wished it wasn't such an easy decision between the two of them. "We should get the rest so Doctor Bagley doesn't have to wait."

Snape nodded and followed Harry to the bakery. While they waited for the next batch of bread, they viewed the pastries and Harry felt his mouth water. "Well, Harry," Snape said, "I suppose after that show you deserve a sweet."

Harry shrugged and continued staring at the pastries. Treacle tart was his favorite from school, but he'd never had much else of Muggle origin. The Chelsea buns, banoffee pies, Eccles cakes, arctic roles, jam roly-polys, and spotted dicks all looked fantastic. "What's your favorite…dad?"

"I didn't eat much along the line of sweets as a child," he said as he considered them carefully. "Don't you have a birthday soon?"

"Yes," Harry said nervously. "It was actually last week, the day you picked me up."

Snape considered him carefully and frowned. "I see. The roly-poly is my favorite."

"It looks good."

The baker came back and Snape took the bread while they whispered. He handed Harry a roly-poly slice and nodded. "It was good of you to come to my defense earlier."

-:-:-:-

Harry was sat on his bed after dinner reading. After they'd gotten back from town, Ben had announced he was needed back in London for a few hours and Snape disappeared. He'd said he was going to do homework but fell asleep the moment he sat on the bed and didn't wake until dinner, which had been a quiet affair.

Billie called his name and he placed the book aside.

He took the stairs two at a time and entered the kitchen. There was a fluffy white pastry on the table with a single candle in it. Snape glared at him as he pulled out the chair at his side and patted the back of it. "You…you really shouldn't have," Harry said as he sat, "but thank you."

"I know you're more apt to treacle tart, but I thought a pavlova might be more suited to the situation," Snape said. He struck a match and lit the candle. "Happy birthday."

"Yes! Happy birthday!" Billie said as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze. "Make a wish."

Harry grinned as he shut his eyes. There wasn't much he could think to wish for –he wasn't with the Dursleys; he was fed regularly and had new clothes; he got to do stuff. Right as he leaned forward to blow out the candle, he wished that it would last.

Billie cut them each a slice of the pavlova and Harry eyed it. "Sir?" He turned to Snape. "What exactly is it?"

Snape smiled and wiped the cream off his lips. "Meringue, whipped cream, strawberries –you'll like it." He spooned another bit into his mouth and hummed.

Harry put just a bit of it on his spoon and held his breath as he tried it. The meringue melted in his mouth and he reveled in the taste. He ate slowly to taste every flavor and saw that everyone else had practically finished. "Can I have another slice?" he asked quietly.

"Oh, of course," Ivor said. While Harry cut another slice, Ivor got up. He returned with 5 tumblers and a bottle of scotch. "Cheers!" he said as he passed them around.

"Can I?" Harry asked Snape.

"Yes."

The scotch burned his throat, but left a warm feeling in his stomach. Snape and Ivor poured themselves another tumbler and Ben came in with a pack of cards. "Some poker?"

Harry tried to keep up with the game, and even won a few hands, but ultimately had a hard time focusing on anything other than his pavlova. He started to fall asleep around 8 and noticed everyone else was drifting off as well. "I'm gonna get to bed," Harry muttered as he stood. "Thank you for celebrating my birthday."

"Wait Harry," Ben said. "We lost track of time. There's a present for you out front. It's not extravagant. We all chipped in on it."

"Really?" Harry whispered. He followed the four of them out front and tried to keep his hands calm. His friends got him presents but…they were his friends. Snape and Ben were just reluctantly minding him until school started back up –that wasn't any reason to buy him anything. They led him to the side of the house and he ran forward to the shiny bike leaning against the wall under the light.

It was just a plain black, multi-speed bike, but he'd never had one before. "Thank you, thank you!" He ran forward toward Snape but stopped just short. "Thank you," he extended his hand to Snape and cleared his throat.

Snape narrowed his eyes and nodded before taking Harry's hand. "I expect you to remember, come term, that I am rather reasonable when you are well-behaved."

Harry met his gaze and nodded. "I'll behave…and improve my grades. You won't be disappointed." He extended his hand to Ben next and was happy that the handshake came with a shoulder pat. Billie and Ivor smiled and then opened their arms to him. He felt like a small child when he ran into their arms, but it felt right…like home.

They shooed him off to bed but he couldn't quite fall asleep. It was weird to feel so safe. He heard a bang on the wall that separated his room from Snape and Ben's and hid his head under the covers while he giggled. After a few more bangs, his door creaked open and Ivor stuck his head in. "The two of them really go at it, don't they?" he asked with a laugh. "C'mon." He led Harry down stairs and had him help fill buckets with cold water.

"I'll get in trouble," Harry whispered as they quietly approached the bedroom.

Ivor scoffed. "They ought to know how to shag quietly by now. I'm not cruel. We'll wait until they've finished. The Missus and I have been caught doing it often enough. Let's just say it's a game between the four of us. Should you ever bring someone home we'll be sure to make you feel included."

The banging and quiet moans ceased and Ivor instructed Harry to ready himself. In one quick movement, he threw the door open and they rushed in. Harry trembled as he tossed his bucket of water in Snape's face. He noticed that they both held pillows over their groins and blushed. Snape's thighs were trembling and his breathing heavy. "Fair," he hissed, "but we'll be sure to repay you." Ivor laughed and then turned toward the door. "Stay a moment, Potter."

Harry handed Ivor the bucket and turned his back to give them a moment. They said they were decent and he turned around. The two of them were sitting upright against the headboard in pajamas, Snape resting against Ben's chest. "I'm sorry. Mister Bagley insisted."

"I know," Snape cut him off. "It was well deserved. Now, as children, we knew that when two adults were behind closed doors we were not to interrupt. Though…." He looked up at Ben before returning his gaze to Harry. "We aren't your parents."

"And we aren't legally married," Ben continued. "But…."

"But," Snape picked up, "it is our job to ensure you have a safe space in which to grow. Sex between consenting adults is normal. Sex is a healthy part of relationships." Harry blushed and nodded. "We have obviously spent the majority of our relationship just the two of us…."

"And mam and da are very sex positive and accepting," Ben said.

"Yes and when you decide you've found somebody, we will give you all the privacy and means of protection we can. It did not dawn on us to establish boundaries for ourselves, a mistake." Snape sighed and nudged his head against Ben's neck. "In the future we will be quiet if you are nearby. Should we forget to quiet down, do make your presence known."

Harry tried to hold his face and then started giggling. "You weren't bothering me. It's kinda nice that you still like each other." He shrugged and shifted on his feet. "I get that it's healthy, but why do it? Nobody ever told me why."

"Potter," Snape whined. "People have sex because it feels good."

"Really, really good," Ben interjected. "This doesn't seem like a great time for a sex talk, but if now is…."

"No!" Harry crossed his arms over his chest and stared at them. "This is not comfortable for me, or you quite frankly. But thanks for trying." He nodded at them, wished them good night, and ran back to his room.

Ivor was seated on his bed leafing through his potions book. "Did they say anything to you?"

"What?" Harry asked as he looked from Ivor to the door.

"I love my son and support him, but…for obvious reasons…they might not be the right people for you to discuss certain physical desires with."

"I'm 13," Harry snapped. "I get that everybody wants to be helpful, but the older boys at school have told me rather a lot about sex. Besides, Professor Snape is probably used to talking to students. And," he shrugged, "what if I am like them."

Ivor patted the bed and waited for Harry to sit. "So what if you are gay? That's no reason not to have a happy life. The boys are good proof of that. You can like girls, or boys, or girls and boys. 13 can be a hard age, but someday things will make sense."

Harry frowned and pulled his knees up to his chest. "But how will I know?"

"I'll tell you what I told Bennett: someday you'll meet the right person and that will be that. Until then, figure out what you like. Matter of fact," he glanced to the wall, "I believe they've both had affairs with women. My point is that we will all support you as you grow. Sleep well, Harry."


	6. Chapter 6

After a few days, they had the frame up and were ready to begin filling in the walls. The effort Snape was still putting in to not yelling was starting to bother Harry. He had never, in all his life, gone so long without fighting with someone, never gone so long without a beating. It wouldn't last, he knew it wouldn't last. Snape would get tired of being patient and go back to his regular self, despite the increased amount he was smoking. Or Ben would decide he was tired of having his private time interrupted. Billie and Ivor would get tired of putting so much effort into a kid that wasn't related to them.

He wasn't really listening as Snape gave him instructions for nailing the slat down. Would behaving better hold off the oncoming storm? Could he behave better? He was already doing extra homework and staying out of Snape and Ben's way as much as possible. Without looking up, he fired the nail gun.

Snape grunted and braced himself against the wall. "Potter!"

Harry looked at Snape's face and then to where he'd placed the nail and felt the color drain from his face. In his distracted state, he'd moved the gun just slightly and fired the nail straight through Snape's hand. "Oh my god, I…. I didn…."

"Stop!" Snape barked. He hissed as he let out a long breath. "Get… me a… hammer." In the time that it took Harry to register the words, Snape continued. "Now!"

Harry ran to the tool box and quickly grabbed the hammer. It felt heavy in his hand as he ran back. He handed it to Snape and held back his tears. He'd ruined it. Snape was putting in effort to be patient and he'd ruined it. Maybe he'd even ruined Snape's hand. "Can I do anything?" he asked quietly.

Snape glared at him for a moment and then fidgeted with the end of the hammer used for removing nails until he got it around the nail head. He took a few slow breaths, breathed in, and then blew out as he pulled the nail out of his hand.

The second Harry saw the bloody nail he ducked over and was incapable of holding back his vomit. When he popped his head back up, Snape's shirt was off and wrapped around his hand and he was glaring with a tired look. "You are going to walk inside and return with the first aid kit from the medicine cabinet and a bottle of vodka. Quietly, Potter!"

Harry nodded and gulped before running off. Maybe he should get Ben, the actual doctor? But he went straight to the medicine cabinet without even looking for Ben. Nobody was around to ask why he was taking the vodka and he suddenly realized the house must be empty. His heart sank as he ran it back out to Snape. If the man wanted to give him a good beating, he supposed he'd have to take it.

Snape looked up from where he was seated on the ground and took the materials. "Sit." He had Harry remove the cap from the bottle of vodka and then poured some over his hand.

The bile in Harry's throat only rose further. Snape hadn't screamed or made so much as a sound, just scowled. "I…I'm…I'm sorry," Harry whispered.

"I know," Snape muttered as he patted his hand dry. "What about my order to behave did you not understand?" he hissed as he started wrapping the cloth bandage around his palm. "Is it honestly beyond your abilities to listen when adults speak?"

"No!" Harry whined. He choked back a sob and then hiccupped –he'd tried to act better. But he hadn't been listening and somebody had gotten hurt.

"So like your father, head in the clouds strutting about," Snape hissed as he tied down the bandage. "Why should a Potter listen to anyone?" He shook out his hand and grunted. For a moment, Harry thought he'd continue with the insults, but instead he dropped his face to neutral. "Do not mention this to Ben."

Harry nodded and then looked to the house. "But he's a doctor."

Snape cocked an eyebrow and scowled. "His symptoms have flared and he's taken to bed. You will not tell him."

"Yes sir," Harry whispered. When Snape left, he pulled his knees into his chest and tried to keep from crying. His father was a good man –Snape didn't know what he was talking about. And his head wasn't in the clouds, at least not all the time. Building the barn was just getting boring.

He waited a few moments and then dragged himself upstairs to pack. Snape would send him back to the Dursleys and Vernon would beat him purple. He folded his clothes slowly. Maybe the Dursleys would let him keep them. Some of his things were still at the flat, but maybe he'd be allowed to pick them up. He took the pouch that held the rest of his money from term out and counted out what was left. It wasn't enough to pay them back for the clothes, much less anything else, but he could pay up the rest once term started.

The house was completely quiet as he carried his bag downstairs –he'd need his trunk back at some point. It would be rude to not thank the Bagleys one last time, but they weren't there and he was certain Snape would want him gone immediately. He found Snape in the kitchen resting against the counter, his head in his arms, and debated how to best make himself known. "Sir?"

Snape groaned as he turned to face him and then froze. "What the fuck are you doing, Potter?"

"I, I'm packed," Harry frowned as he muttered. "So whenever you wanna take me back."

After blinking repeatedly, Snape shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Walk back upstairs and unpack your belongings. I'm not in the mood for your dramatics." He stared at Harry a moment. "Where should I be taking you?"

"Back to the Dursleys 'cause you don't want me here." The longer Snape stared, the smaller Harry felt, the more he wanted to hide away, but there was nowhere to run.

"I never wanted you here, Potter," Snape said as he drummed his fingers on the counter. "I don't like children and you don't like adults. Yet your safety is dependent on you remaining in my care. However irritating that may be, you are not leaving."

Harry felt the irritation rise in him and spoke before he'd thought about it. "I hate you! You're mean and I hate you!" Snape moved toward him and he held his ground. No way he'd be intimidated.

Snape stretched up to his full height and crossed his arms across his chest as he often did at school. He snarled as he considered Harry and then very slowly said "Go…to…your…room."

It brought up memories of nasty detentions and Harry quickly diverted his gaze. He didn't say anything as he slowly walked back upstairs and sat against his bed staring at the door. What had he done?

-:-:-:-

After half an hour of utter silence, Harry began unpacking as ordered. Snape clearly had no intention of letting him leave, clearly was going to do the job he'd been set. 1st year, Snape had tried to protect him from Quirrell. Just last term, Snape had brewed the complicated mandrake restorative draught and taught them expelliarmus. And now he was giving him house and home to protect him from a murderer.

Something caught his eye as he turned back toward his bed. There was a box in the far corner under it that he'd never noticed before. He looked to the door and then dropped down and quickly pulled it out. It was filled with nicely bound scrapbooks and smelt old. The scrapbook he took had slightly faded brown binding and was labeled 1975-76.

The first picture was of Snape and Ben. They were sitting against a tree wrapped in each other's arms. Ben was easy to recognize as his face hadn't changed much. Snape however looked so different. His hair was still long and his nose crooked and hooked, but his smile reached his eyes. The smile softened his features considerably and emotionally drew Harry in. He brushed his fingers over the picture and it suddenly moved.

Snape turned his head quickly to look at Ben and then brought his gaze back to the camera. They laughed and Snape moved his hand into Ben's lap. As the photo continued, he traced gentle patterns on Ben's outer thigh and said something to the camera. Figuring it was just about over, Harry started to turn the page but stopped when Snape's features contorted in fear.

He laid the page flat and tried to figure out what was happening, but whoever had shown up was off camera. Snape jumped up and placed his arm in front of Ben, who was slow to follow. Two boys rushed forward and grabbed Ben, knocking Snape aside as they did so. Harry didn't recognize either of them, but suspected he knew what would happen.

Snape jumped up quickly and another boy with short, spiky black hair stormed toward him, his fist raised. He knocked Snape back down and turned toward the other boys. Harry figured he must've said something as Ben began struggling, but the boy with the long black hair's punch quickly silenced him.

Harry winced as the boy dove down and started beating on Snape. He could tell that Snape was pleading, but something about the way he kept looking to Ben made Harry believe the pleads were for Ben to be set free. The position Snape curled into was familiar –he'd done it himself a few times when Vernon had beat him.

One of the two boys holding Ben started laughing, but the other remained rigid. As if he were responding, the boy beating on Snape stood and motioned to the other two before turning in the direction of the camera. Harry's breath caught. It looked just like him, and he knew it was the face of his father.

He slammed the book shut and then threw it down. The boy couldn't be James Potter. His father never would have behaved like Dudley. A curt knock came at the door and he buried his head in his knees.

"Why are you throwing things?" Snape asked as he stepped in. His eyes grew wide in anger as he stared at the scrapbook. "Are you under the impression that you may damage my personal property?" he hissed.

"What's going on?" Ben asked as he stepped up behind Snape. He was paler than Harry had ever seen and held his stomach oddly, as though he were in pain. "I didn't realize the scrapbooks were in here."

Snape didn't say anything as he picked it up. "Did you feel like throwing things, or was there a reason?" he asked as he flipped it open. His expression changed almost instantly to what Harry could only identify as sadness. He turned to Ben. "Love, I've got this. Why don't you get back to bed?"

Ben nodded and let his eyes flutter shut as he turned. "Just be nice to the little bastard." He was gone as quickly as he came and Harry felt even worse.

"He didn't mean it, Potter," Snape muttered as he pushed the door shut. "Ben's just in a lot of pain right now. You'll have to forgive him." He sat at the foot of Harry's bed and placed the scrapbook between them. "I should not have insulted you earlier."

"And I shouldn't have shot a nail through your hand," Harry responded quickly. He wiped the tears forming in his eyes as he looked up and met Snape's gaze.

Snape nodded as if he were thinking. "You hurt me in an accident; I hurt you on purpose. My comment was not only ill-advised, but inappropriate." He crossed his legs under him and rested his arms on his knees. "I'm not entirely sure what to say to you, but I am aware that I crossed a line."

Harry rubbed his legs and gulped. He didn't want to know, but he thought maybe he needed to. "So, my dad strutted and always thought he was right?"

"Well, yes, actually," Snape said softly. "But you should know that he was rather a different person by the time he died. I won't forgive him. We never would have been friends. But he was by far the better man in the end."

"My dad bullied you," Harry whispered.

"The qualities you share with your father are not ones I view favorably," Snape continued as if Harry hadn't spoken, "but that does not mean I am implying that you are anything like him. I hated him. You simply annoy me."

"My dad bullied you," Harry said again. "How could he have been the better man? That's not possible."

Snape cocked a single eyebrow. "I made decisions that cost people, good people, their lives, Potter."

"But you didn't mean to, right?" Harry asked quietly. "It was a mistake."

"When you make a decision and the consequences are worse than you could have ever imagined, regardless of whether or not you regret it, you are still responsible for having made the decision, Potter. I chose the path of least resistance for the sake of self-preservation. Though I never personally killed anyone, many deaths could have been avoided without my participation." He drummed his fingers on his knees. "You don't understand what I mean?"

"No!" Harry whined. He felt tears build up in his eyes and pulled his knees in. His dad was a bully, just like Dudley, and Snape had been his victim. And Snape… he was stuck in Snape's care and the man was sitting there saying he'd accidently gotten people killed. It wasn't fair!

Snape rubbed his fingers over the skin on the back of his left arm and then turned it over. "You must have noticed it by now." He nodded to the tattoo. "Do you know what it is?"

Harry shrugged. "It's a tattoo of a skull and a snake, probably some underground thing."

"No, Potter. It's a dark mark, a sign of loyalty to the Dark Lord."

"Voldemort killed my parents," Harry hissed.

Snape nodded. "You know I hustled here, around town. I did at school as well, with some of the pure bloods. They weren't friends, but they helped me along. As a half-blood sorted Slytherin, I didn't have many options or friends. Your father and his friends scared off nearly everyone I tried to associate with. I joined my 5th year and it opened the doors that allowed me to get my mastery. Mostly I just brewed potions for them, but in 1979 the Dark Lord ordered me to take my position at Hogwarts in order to spy on the Headmaster. I overheard something, relayed the information, and your family was targeted. I went to the Headmaster to fix what I'd done, but…." He went silent, picked up the scrapbook and flipped through it while he waited for Harry to respond.

Harry took deep breaths to hold back the sob building in his throat. He'd always thought Snape was working for Voldemort and he was right! Every bad thing he'd ever said about Snape was accurate. Though clearly none of it added up to the truth. "But you work for Dumbledore, now? Am I safe?" He choked back another sob. "But you don't hate Muggles."

"Obviously," Snape responded. "I married one, didn't I?" He rolled his eyes. "Perhaps it is wrong for your opinion of both me and your father to be harmed in one day, but…"

"Get out!" Harry yelled as he buried his head in his knees. When Snape left and shut the door, he only started crying harder.


	7. Chapter 7

Happy Holidays everybody!

There was a small commotion about an hour later when the Bagleys got home, but Harry didn't bother to join them until they called him for dinner. He met Snape's gaze first when he entered the kitchen and tried not to start crying again. That man was the reason his parents were dead. He saw that the seat next to Snape was open and then looked at everyone else, figuring there would be a seat next to Ben. "Potter," Snape called softly.

Harry gulped and moved his gaze from the empty seat. He shuffled around the table and plopped into the seat next to Snape. While they served themselves, he crossed his arms over his chest and stared at his plate –how could he possibly eat anything? "Eat," Snape hissed.

"Make me," Harry hissed back. He yelped when Snape grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him toward the door. Yells followed after them, but Harry couldn't bring himself to speak.

Snape whipped around and kept Harry's shirt in his fist. "The boy and I are going to have a wee chat in the barn." The anger was obvious in his voice. He cleared his throat and softened his tone. "I won't hurt him, Benny." As if to prove it, he released Harry's shirt and shoved his fists in his trouser pockets as he led him to the barn.

The night air froze Harry straight through and cleared his head. They'd be alone in the barn –anything could happen, nobody would save him. When Snape turned toward him, he puffed out his chest and put on his brave face.

"I am aware that your attitude is in response to me and not meant as an insult to the Bagleys, but you will mind yourself." He narrowed his eyes in consideration. "As a Gryffindor, I imagine you wish to retaliate for what you doubtless view as a personal insult. I can see how it is in everyone's best interest to let you." A cruel smile crossed his lips. "Given that you shot a nail through my hand, and caused me more pain and inconvenience than I would care to admit, I do not see how it is necessary."

"You killed them!" Harry yelled as the wind picked up around them. He wrapped further around himself and tried to hold back his tears. The longer Snape stared in silence, the worse he felt. "It's not fair," he whispered as he sank to his knees. "It's not fair." As he continued crying, Snape slowly walked forward. "I just want a family."

Snape knelt in front of him. "Life is not fair. You can either take the hand you've been dealt and arrange the cards into some sort of house or let them fly in the wind."

Harry rubbed at his eyes. "I trusted you. I like it when you teach me things, even maths."

"Perhaps I should find more things to teach you then," Snape muttered. He shook out his injured hand and groaned.

"F'real?" Harry tried not to look too desperate as he glanced up through his clouded glasses. Snape gave a single nod before leaving him to his thoughts. It still wasn't fair that he had to live with someone who had caused him so much pain, but maybe it could get better. After a few deep breaths, he dragged himself inside to politely eat whatever had been served.

-:-:-:-

The next morning, Harry didn't bother getting up with everyone else and stayed in bed. Ivor was supposed to be in town for the day, and Snape's hand would take a day or two, so he figured they wouldn't be getting any work done anyways. Around 11, he wandered into the kitchen. As he filled a glass with water, he looked out the window over the sink and saw that Snape was out working on the barn alone. He took a swig and placed the glass down on his way out. "Sir?"

Snape inclined his head a bit and leaned forward to keep the slat he was holding in place. "Good morning, Potter."

Harry didn't say anything as he took the weight of the slat and held it still. They continued nailing down slats in silence and he started to feel better. Working with his hands, sweating, was excellent stress relief. Once the sun was beating down on them, Snape told him he was free to go. The comment was awkward and stopped Harry in his tracks. He bounced on his toes while Snape cleaned up. "You could have said something."

"Ben has advised me that I have already said enough," Snape hissed as he shook out his injured hand.

"Well, he's not wrong," Harry muttered. "I would've helped," he whispered as he looked at the barn. The amount of work they'd gotten done was decent.

Snape wiped his hands on his jeans and scowled. "I assume you're loitering in the hopes I'll want to do something with you." He didn't wait for Harry to respond. "Give me half an hour." He scowled and stormed off.

Harry ran inside, grabbed a muffin, and waited the 30 minutes out silently in the yard just in case Snape changed the time he was supposed to wait before their activity. Sometime between sobbing in the barn and barely sleeping, he'd settled out. What Snape and Ben were offering wasn't that bad by comparison. They weren't going to hit him or starve him. Nobody had ever wanted to parent him –so that wasn't new. How bad could it be, living with guardians that didn't love him anymore than the last set?

It was exactly 30 minutes later that Snape strolled out of the house with a bag, 2 fishing poles, and a bucket. "Have you been there the entire time?" he asked as he started walking. Harry nodded and ran just a bit to keep up with his stride.

They walked a good half mile before reaching the stream. Snape set down their things and motioned for Harry to join him in sitting. "Pay attention to how I tie on the hook and set the bait," Snape ordered.

For the first moment, Harry was fascinated, but as he adjusted his position someone across the stream caught his eye. The boy was about his age and height, from what he could see –his olive skin was glowing in Harry's mind's eye as if a ray had shot down from the heavens and engulfed him. Careful not to stare too long, he returned his attention to the hook Snape was setting.

Once he was certain he understood, he began attaching his own hook and yelped loudly when it went through the pad of his finger. "Shit!" He looked back to the boy across the stream, saw that he was staring, and blushed as he looked down.

"Take a deep breath, Potter," Snape grumbled as he carefully took the end of the hook in between his fingers. As Harry breathed in, he pushed it through all the way. He paid no mind to Harry's tears as he tossed him a bandage and retrieved another hook. "Is there an issue?" he asked as he handed it over.

Harry scowled as he applied the bandage. "Hurts," he muttered. Not expecting Snape to care much about his pain, he began tying on the new hook. "Is this good?" he asked as he showed Snape.

The man cast his line out and set his pole in his lap before looking. "Good enough, Potter." He handed over a wiggling, grey worm and cast his eyes back to the river.

They'd been sat for almost 15 minutes when Harry finally got a bite –Snape had already caught one and put it in the bucket. The fish put up more of a fight than Harry had expected one of that size to be capable of, but, as he held it in his hands so that Snape could pull out the hook, he was filled with pride. He threw it in the bucket and helped lay out some newspaper.

Snape took his own, slightly larger fish, out of the bucket, placed it on the newspaper, and slit its throat in one motion. Once it had finished bleeding out, he called Harry over and instructed him to watch. "We'll start with the scales." He went slow the first few movements so that Harry could see but then increased his speed –it was descaled in nearly no time at all and Harry knew he couldn't do it like that. He used a canteen to rinse the rest of the scales off and then threw it back in the bucket. "Your turn."

"My turn," Harry whispered as he took his fish from the bucket and accidently dropped it on the newspaper. At Snape's insistence, he grabbed it firmly and quickly slit its throat. As the blood ran onto his hands and the newspaper, a funny feeling bubbled up in his stomach. He'd just killed something. But he'd also caught his own food –there was something really nice about feeling so connected to the circle of life. It stopped flopping under his hands and he released an excited breath. Without saying anything, or asking if he'd done it right, he picked up the scaler and began. The motion was awkward, but after a few tries it became natural. Once he was sure all the connected scales were off, he poured some water over it like Snape had done and brushed off the loose scales.

He turned the fish over a few times. It looked perfect and just as good as Snape's had. He'd done it! All by himself! "Sir!" he called as he turned. "Dad!" he corrected before he'd even looked at the man.

Snape had a bloodied towel in his lap and a cigarette between his lips, but he'd clearly been watching the whole process. With a small nod, he handed the towel to Harry and spoke around the cigarette. "Good job. Now we gut it."

A huge grin appeared on Harry's face while Snape took things out of the bag. The man had actually complimented him and they hadn't even argued! Snape laid out some supplies and started a small fire while Harry cleaned up. "I assume you are going to eat this," he said as he turned back to Harry.

"I wouldn't have killed it if I didn't want to eat it," Harry said, slightly confused. "I'm not a kid. In order to eat animals, you have to kill them –I know that."

Snape considered him with raised eyebrows. "Knowing it and getting your hands dirty are different, Potter. Not everyone enjoys working so closely with animals." He took his fish from the bucket, placed it down, and moved so that they were on opposite sides of the newspaper. When he picked up one of the two knifes, Harry followed suit. "Look down here and find the anus," he said as he pointed to the lower point of the fish.

"Done," Harry replied as he put the point of the knife on top of the hole. He watched as Snape sliced and then copied the motion.

"Now reach in find the entrails." Snape waited until Harry replied that he had. "Pull." He pulled out his fish's and tossed them on the newspaper between them. Harry's eyes grew in size as he looked at them –they reminded him of potions ingredients –but he lowered his gaze and did it without saying a word.

"Now what?" Harry asked when he noticed the man staring. "Why are you staring?" He felt a blush rise in his cheeks and cleared his throat.

Snape shrugged. "Not many people so readily gut fish. Ben won't. When the Bagleys need animals killed for dinner I usually do it –as you'll see when we visit the cows in the pasture or when the Bagleys buy the chickens they've saved for. Birthing a calf, raising it, caring for it, and then using it as a form of sustenance…."

Harry nodded. "It's the circle of life and it's honest," he muttered. Maybe it was dirty, but he thought he might like to do it and have that connection to his food. Snape just nodded and retrieved the pieces of foil he'd brought. He quickly wrapped both fish and tossed the packages in the small fire. Harry wiped his hands on the bloody towel until they looked mostly clean and then folded up the newspaper while Snape dumped out the water in the bucket. They put all of their tools and garbage in the bucket and sat around the fire.

"Excuse me?" a voice called. Harry looked up to see the boy he'd been staring at standing before them with a tinfoil package in his hands. "I forgot matches. Would you mind?"

Snape nodded and waited until the boy sat to speak. "You're the Proust boy?"

The boy nodded and extended his hand. "Yes. I'm Peter Proust. And you're Severus Snape." He grinned and Harry admired his features –brown hair, brown eyes, brown skin.

"Indeed," Snape said as he shook the hand. "This," he nodded toward Harry, "is my adopted son, Harry." The look on his face was fairly ambiguous, but Harry knew he was a bit annoyed.

"Adopted?" Peter asked sweetly. "He looks quite a bit like you, sir."

Harry scowled and pulled a little bit at his hair. "Do not!"

Peter chuckled and warmed his hands over the flame. "I meant it in a good way, Harry, and it's very nice to meet you both. So how old are you? I've just turned 13 a few months ago."

"Me too," Harry said quietly. He crossed his legs and leaned forward. "Do you live near here, then?"

"I grew up on the farm next to the Bagleys, but we moved into town a few years ago cuz my dad took a job working for the butcher."

They talked for a while before Peter suggested they check the fish and Harry realized Snape had left. He looked around while Peter pulled the fish off and realized everything but his fishing pole was gone. With how much he was enjoying the other boy's company, it was hard to miss Snape. He stood to move the fishing pole near him and used the opportunity to sit next to Peter without it being awkward.

"Where'd Mister Snape go?" Peter asked as he handed Harry a fish.

Harry unwrapped the foil and waited to see how to pick the meat off. "He's actually a professor," he commented.

Peter nodded as he peeled off the meat and started eating. "So," he started and then cleared his throat, "you're not going to live here, then?"

"No," Harry said sadly. He finished off his fish and set the wrapping aside. The warm sensation in his abdomen was new and strange. Though he knew he liked boys in a way that Ron didn't, he'd never really thought about what way that was. "We live in London during the holiday, but we should be here at least another week. And, well, I go to school in Scotland."

"Oh," Peter said quietly. He set aside his foil and laid back on the grass. Harry wasn't sure what to do at first, but Peter took hold of the back of his shirt and pulled until they were laying side by side. "So can we spend some time together before you leave?"

Harry nodded and took a deep breath. "I'd like that."

Peter rested his head on his arms and stretched out. "I work a bit around town. I could get us tickets to the cinema."

"The cinema," Harry repeated. He tilted his head and stared at the other boy's lips for a moment. "Like a date?"

"Only if you'd like."

Without hesitation, Harry answered. "Yes."

"Good," Peter whispered. "I'm supposed to be home for dinner, but I have the number for the Bagleys, so I'll call round once I've checked film times."

Harry nodded and stood with him. While Peter put out the fire and collected his things, Harry picked up his fishing pole and took deep breaths to calm his nerves. He turned back and paused. "Should we hug, or…?"

"Yeah, I think so," Peter said as he stepped closer. They embraced and Harry realized he had no desire to pull away. He tightened his arms around Peter's shoulders and held his breath when the arms around his waist tightened likewise. "I should go," Peter whispered before pulling away. He flashed one last smile before hurrying off.

Despite knowing it wasn't even somewhat subtle, Harry watched until he was out of sight before dawdling home. When he entered and saw that everyone was seated at the table, he set the fishing pole against the wall and took his seat next to Snape. "Sorry I'm late."

"Oh, you aren't late at all, dear," Billie said with a knowing smile. "We were just talking."

Ben ran a hand through his hair and gave an apologetic smile. "Did you enjoy your fishing expedition? I heard you met a boy."

Harry eyed Snape out of the corner of his eye. "Yes. I enjoyed preparing the fish and it was really good –I'm sure you would have liked it sir." Snape nodded but gave no reply. "Thanks for taking me and…I'd like to go see the cows sometime." Again Snape nodded and scowled. "Am I in trouble?"

"No," Snape responded quickly. "Ben and Missus Bagley simply do not believe that you should be helping with the barn or…slaughtering any animals."

"But that's not fair!" Harry whined. "I like building and I like fishing. And I want to work with the cows!" He attempted to stare down Ben and quickly realized he couldn't intimidate the man. How could he possibly intimidate anyone who had spent over 20 years of their life winning arguments against Snape?

Ben crossed his hands on the table. "I do not believe you should be encouraged to kill anything."

The comment stung –did he not think Harry to be mature? Harry looked at each of them and noticed that Snape wouldn't meet his gaze. "Well I reckon I know much more 'bout killing than you do, Doctor Bagley." He matched the man's position and raised his eyebrows. "See, I've killed two men –one of them 3 times now. Have you ever killed anything?" When nobody responded, he changed the subject. "I've got a date with Peter, by the way."

"Good for you," Snape hissed. "Now shut up and go to bed."

Harry opened his mouth to argue but realized what he'd said. The Bagleys were Muggles –they wouldn't know about Voldemort and Snape would have to make all the dangerous things he'd done sound good. "I'm real sorry, sir," he whispered as he stood. "Good night, everybody."


	8. Chapter 8

When Harry woke the next morning, he could hear Snape and Ben arguing in their room. Why hadn't he waited and argued with Ben in private? A few minutes after they went quiet, a knock came at Harry's door. Snape entered and Harry could see that he was tired. "You are more trouble than you are worth, Potter." Snape sat on the edge of the bed.

"I know," Harry groaned as he pulled the blanket over his head. "I'll apologize…." He could feel Snape's gaze through the blanket and slowly pulled it away. The look on Snape's face was cold and calculating. "I am sorry."

"Apologies are for cowards," Snape said slowly. "You made a decision and must live with the consequences. The events of the past 2 years were a combination of choices you made and of those around you. Alas, it is you that shoulders the weight."

Harry blushed as he sat and pulled his knees to his chest. "So I'm in trouble? They're not going to let me near the cows, are they?"

"No."

Though not surprising, the answer was disappointing. Harry pointedly looked at the Dark Mark on Snape's arm. "They had to o've known something though –'specially Doctor Bagley."

Snape just stared. "I cannot and will not discuss certain things as long as I fear them being shared with the Headmaster. You are pathetically emotional, Potter. Get dressed. You and Ben are taking a walk." He made no noise as he swept out of the room and Harry imagined a cloak billowing behind him.

Harry dressed quickly so that Ben wouldn't be kept waiting. Neither man had ever punished him for tardiness, but he was sure it was coming. He rubbed at his arms as he entered the kitchen. "Good morning, sir."

Ben looked up from the basket he was packing and flicked the lid shut. "Good morning, Harry. Come along." He led Harry silently through the fields until he found a spot he liked. "I packed sandwiches due to the hour," he said as he sat and opened the basket. He handed over a sandwich. "Now tell me about your first year."

"My first year," Harry repeated as he looked over to where the cows were. "All of it?" Ben nodded in response. He was silent and stared off until Ben handed him a sandwich. After a few bites, he resigned himself to talking. "I kept getting letters in the post. Vernon burned them all, but they kept coming. He moved us… here, actually –an inn down near the shore. This man came –Hagrid, he's like, half the size of a giant, you know –and gave me a letter by hand. Dudley ate my birthday cake. It was my Hogwarts letter."

"I remember how excited Severus was when his finally arrived," Ben commented.

Harry nodded. How long had they known each other, anyways? And how much did Ben know about magic? He thought about not continuing and didn't think he'd be pushed, but, as he gulped down another bite, he found he wanted to talk. "Hagrid took me to Diagon Alley and we bought my school supplies. He bought me an owl, Hedwig, and she was my first real present…my first real friend. Then he took me back to the Dursleys."

He finished off the sandwich and felt numb as he took another one from Ben. Maybe he shouldn't go on, but he'd already told Snape about the cupboard. "They moved me out of my cupboard and into Dudley's second bedroom. Pro…Professor Snape knows they made me sleep in a cupboard –said he had no intention of putting me in any confined spaces. So, they locked away my school things and I didn't do any reading. And…" he gulped, "I made a friend, Ron, on the train. This prick, Malfoy, teased him for being poor, said he'd help me out."

There was an odd sound from Ben. Harry wondered if he'd said something wrong and turned toward him. Ben was just barely holding back a laugh and snorted when Harry looked at him. "I am sorry, Harry. The Malfoys and I are acquainted, you see. Lucius has never insulted me to my face, but he sneers enough. Then again, haven't seen them since the Dark Lord fell. He was a bastard too, mind you."

Harry froze mid-chew. How could Snape claim he was safe if even Ben knew Voldemort? Did Dumbledore know how connected they were? "Voldemort killed my parents."

"I'm aware, Harry," Ben said quietly. "Severus very much regretted his decisions and refused to leave his filthy Muggle boyfriend when requested. I believe his position as potions master earned him some leniency. He was hardly a devout follower. Please continue."

Harry finally swallowed his bite. It was them or the Dursleys. "Anyways, Malfoy was sorted Slytherin. When the hat was on my head –oh, you probably don't know much about sorting…. There's this hat that decides your house. It wanted me in Slytherin too, but I begged it not to. I couldn't be in the same house as him. So it ack..we..ssed…."

"Acquiesced."

"Yeah," Harry continued, "I think that's the word. Dunno. But it put me in Gryffindor –that's where Ron ended up and my parents were in Gryffindor too. It was the first time I experienced Professor Snape's glare. In potions, first class, he kept asking me these questions that I guess were in the reading, but I hadn't had access to my books and I didn't know. He said my celebrity was overrated or something and I decided I hated him.

"I made the Quidditch team by accident. We snuck a dragon out of the castle and got detentions. For detention, we were taken into the Forbidden Forrest and I got attacked by Voldemort –he was eating a unicorn. I found a mirror that shows you what you want the most. I saw my parents. Uh, Christmas… Ron stayed with me and I broke into the restricted section of the library. That was the first Christmas I got presents. I saw Professor Snape threatening Professor Quirrel, by the way. Turned out he had Voldemort on the back of his head."

He had some water before continuing. "Voldemort was after the Philosopher's Stone –it woulda brought him back to life. I figured it was Professor Snape, though. That was a surprise. It was hidden in the school by Dumbledore…who just left one weekend. So, Ron and Hermione and me…."

"I," Ben interjected out of habit.

"And I," Harry corrected, "went after the stone. Ron got hurt playing chess, so after Hermione –she's the smart one –solved Professor Snape's puzzle, I went on alone. That mirror I told you about earlier was there and it gave me the stone. Voldemort, Quirrel, tried to take it. He was hurting me, so I grabbed him and it burned his skin til he died. I woke up in the hospital later."

He realized how empty he felt, saying it all. "That must have been scary," Ben whispered. Harry nodded slowly. Nobody had ever told him it was okay to be scared of what had happened. "It sounds like there weren't any adults around to make you feel safe. Tell me, Harry, was anybody watching over your grades or checking to see if you ate adequately?"

Harry scrunched up his face. "Well…. I mean, Professor Snape was always bugging me to do my homework better and to pay attention and to stop getting into trouble. But none of us like him and I didn't listen. Professor McGonagall never said anything 'bout it, so I thought he was just being a git." It didn't put McGonagall in the best light, he realized. It also made him sad to think about it that way. Why did it have to be Snape that bothered with him?

"Sev can be funny in how he shows he cares," Ben whispered, "but he does, Harry, and so do I. I know that's not enough, though. I work with children who have…by the unjust nature of the legal system, of course…been punished for crimes of self-defense and coercion." He moved his gaze from Harry out to the pasture. "We have gotten many of them into safer homes, but that rarely has any effect. If you do not like living with us, if you do not feel like we can understand you…."

"No!" Harry yelled. His action came as a surprise to them both. "How should I know how adults should treat me? And I wasn't punished. I don't even feel bad!" He jumped up without realizing what was going on and turned to run, but Ben was quicker and grabbed him before he went anywhere. Ben held him tight and after fighting a few minutes, Harry broke into sobs. "Not my fault," he whispered between hiccups. "Don't send me away!"

Once he quieted, they walked back to the house in silence. Harry mounted the first step to go to his bedroom and stopped. "Doctor Bagley?" he called without turning around. "I like building the barn. Please don't take that away from me." He felt dazed as he went upstairs. Why did it all have to sound so bad? Like he was a freak or something? He felt numb as he stepped into the shower and let the scalding hot water run over his skin.

-:-:-:-

The next morning, a knock pulled Harry out of bed around 8. As he walked down the stairs, he figured the knocker had been Ben and that they'd be having another conversation, but when he entered the kitchen it was just Billie and Snape. They were chatting over coffee and muffins. "G'morning," Harry said as he took his own muffin and coffee. "Where the doctor?"

"In London," Snape muttered. "Like he's incapable of taking a real holiday." He shook his head and grumbled. "You will be pleased to know, however, that after some discussion, it has been agreed that you may visit the livestock."

Billie tutted and glared at Snape. "We agreed that you may, so long as you are not available for the slaughter. Ben says that children sometimes deal with hard emotions better when they can talk to animals. Now that we've been filled in, Ivor and I will be so, so happy to talk to you, love."

"Oh, I know," Harry said with a blush. Snape shouldn't have worried them about it. Not that he would have had to if Harry had just kept his mouth shut. "I'm not trying to cause trouble, you know."

A funny sound came from Billie. "No, dearie, no, you are not any trouble."

Harry nodded and hummed as he finished off his muffin. He wished people would stop lying to him about what an inconvenience dealing with him was. But he'd already decided to behave better. If he had to be boring and perfectly obedient to continue living with them, he would. Even if Ron didn't much like him anymore.

He sat quietly until Snape requested his help outside and followed silently to the cow pasture. One by one, they checked on the cows, but one in particular caught Harry's eye. He petted her back and then her round belly. There was something about her belly. He sat with his legs crossed and leaned his head against it.

"Is everything alright, Potter?" Snape called as he approached. He raised an eyebrow. "She's called Pauline. Her calf is due in… oh, March, I suppose. Perhaps April. I'm unsure." Harry nodded his head against Pauline and continued to pet her. "You are oddly quiet today."

Harry forced his mind blank and shrugged. "I'm tired of yelling and lectures and feeling like I'm not… good."

Snape glared like he thought he was being lied to. "Nobody has said that you are bad, Potter. Be good a little louder, will you. Your silence is…unnatural."

The request was confusing. Snape had never wanted him loud or present at all. "I…I've been working on the maths."

Instead of answering, Snape nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. "Where's that bird of yours, Potter?"

"Hedwig's with Ron," Harry muttered. "She's safer there. I guess she could come home to me now, but…."He shrugged. "About maths," he said to change the subject back to something he thought Snape would like, "I'll be caught up enough, right?"

"I believe so." He squatted down in front of Harry and waited for the boy to look at him. "You should know that if Ben gets his way, we will home school you until he rids you of the notion that you are a killer and unworthy of proper concern."

Harry bit into his lip and nodded. He had to make sure they didn't send him away like those kids Ben worked with. If they realized they were wrong and he was a killer… he'd never thought before that they could have him sent away for it. The Dursleys certainly would if they knew. "I really will do better," he whispered.

"Naturally. You will take arithmancy this year –the course is designed to assist students who did not receive a full maths education in primary." He sat next to Harry and ran his hand over Pauline's neck. Sitting there like that, for just a moment, Harry saw a few similarities in them. It was posture and disposition, mostly. "I am inclined to let you pick your other elective. Perhaps you would like to discuss your interests with me."

It sounded more like an order than a request. Harry wondered how honest he should be. Maybe he should just let Snape pick for him so he'd be happy. "I dunno."

"Eloquent as ever, Potter," Snape muttered. "Try again."

Harry huffed and continued petting the cow. "I'll take whatever you want me to, okay. But…maybe something with animals would be good?"

Snape hummed, but it became more of a growl as he turned to Harry. Harry shrunk into himself a little and stared at the grass as if it were fascinating. "Do you have any inclination what you might like to do when you're older? For example, if you think curse breaking is interesting, you ought to take runes. If you're interested in animal husbandry or zoology, then by all means, take care of magical creatures.

"You mean like a zookeeper?" Harry responded instantly. "Or maybe I'd get to stay here?"

The smile momentarily fell off Harry's features as he watched Snape roll his eyes. What had he said wrong? "We do not have zoos in the magical world, Potter. Dragonologists, or dragon trainers, yes, like Charlie Weasley. You could be a magizoologist or Wizarding naturalist. Zoology is a branch of biology that focuses on the structure, function, behavior, and evolution of animals."

Harry thought it sounded a bit like Hagrid, but he was pretty sure Hagrid just studied behavior. "I like the sound of that. Can you tell me more?"


	9. Chapter 9

Hello friends. I posted chp 8 like a month ago, but I never saw the email go out (tried uploading multiple times btw), so read that first. xo

Harry and Peter had talked on the phone a few times before settling on a day to go to the cinema and when the day finally arrived Harry felt like he was bouncing out of his skin. They'd continued working on the barn and Snape had taught him bit by bit about the anatomy of cows. He knew a bit about digestion in the 4 chamber stomach and cud –he'd even taken some notes on it! Best yet, everybody had decided that he could ride into town and back himself since it was a day time movie.

He checked his reflection in the mirror and groaned. He wanted to look sexy like Ben and Snape did. How else would Peter be attracted to him? He bit into his lip as he ran down to the kitchen. The adults all stopped the conversation they were having over lunch and looked at him. "I don't know what to wear," he said quietly.

"Clothes, perhaps," Snape snapped as he stood. He met Harry at the bottom of the stairs and scowled. "What is wrong with what you're wearing? We're in the country, after all."

Harry frowned as he looked down and suddenly felt foolish. Why did he always feel foolish with Snape? "I just wanted to look nice for Peter, okay!" He tugged at the hem of his shirt and plopped down onto one of the steps. "What if he doesn't like how I look?"

Snape rolled his eyes and silently led Harry upstairs. He dug through the wardrobe and pulled out a few things. The outfit he set out was good, Harry thought. It was basic but nice –dark blue jeans and a green cotton t-shirt. "The green will accent your eyes and wearing clean trousers indicates that you are taking your time with him seriously." He snapped and pointed to the bed. Once Harry sat, he began speaking again. "I do not know this young man's intention toward you. Though he may come from a decent family, it is no guarantee of his behavior. Peter's parents may not know what you are doing this afternoon or how to discuss his wishes and urges with him."

He stared Harry down a moment. "I imagine I have little authority in your mind to direct your behavior."

Harry shrugged and traced patterns on his legs. Maybe he wasn't good at listening, but he liked that Snape tried. "It's ok if you want to tell me what to do. I don't want to do anything weird." He shrugged again and tried not to look up at Snape with too much of a smile.

"Very well," Snape said with the smallest smirk. "You are just now 13. Dating at your age should be about friendship and finding someone you can share your dreams and emotions with fearlessly. Likewise, certain physical activities are inappropriate. Sex is inappropriate, regardless of whether or not you are both capable of performing. Hugging and hand holding are advisable, if you find yourself inclined. A kiss on the cheek may be reasonable depending on how the situation plays out."

It sounded good to Harry. He certainly wasn't thinking about having sex with Peter and wouldn't know how to anyways. "Okay," he said as if he hadn't already figured most of that. "But what about talking? I'm a bit awkward."

Snape was clearly withholding a nasty response. "Most are at your age," he eventually said. "I have little advice for you in that area other than find something in common. Ben and I knew each other in primary. After I started Hogwarts, I kept up with things he enjoyed… like football. Peter's father will likely succeed the butcher in few years and train Peter to do it, assuming they have no other children. I imagine he knows rather a lot about animal husbandry. Get dressed, you should be leaving soon." He turned on his heel and walked out with a tiny shake of his head.

Harry hadn't really thought about Peter's dad being a butcher, or about the fact that he'd grown up near the Bagleys. He dressed in the outfit Snape had picked and cleaned his face up. The man was right –the green shirt really brought out his eyes. He played with his hair until it looked nice and then quietly walked downstairs.

The adults all turned to look at him when he stepped into the kitchen. "Oh isn't it just…" Billie started to say.

"Maam!" Ben cut her off. "Don't embarrass the lad." He shook his head and put on a good smile. "You look very nice, Harry. Do you have any money?"

"Yes!" Harry exclaimed as he patted his pocket. "I'll be home by 7 like you said, I promise." He gave Billie and Ivor a hug and then ran out.

The ride into town was quicker this time –he was too excited to go slow. When he arrived at the cinema, Peter was fidgeting with his hands and looking around nervously. "Hiya Peter!" Harry said as he stopped just short of him. He wasn't sure if they should hug or not.

"Hiya Harry," Peter repeated. He bit on his lip and quickly kissed Harry's cheek before pulling back with a hot blush and leading Harry inside. They stopped at the snack counter and Harry realized he should probably pay. "Do you like sweets?" Peter asked as he picked up a package.

"Yeah, those are good," Harry lied. He'd never tried anything they served. After he paid, he carried the soda and kept his gaze down. He felt like people were watching them. They entered the theatre and Peter selected seats in the very back row.

The movie started and they munched on their sweets. After about 20 minutes, Harry felt a little awkward. He liked the movie well enough, but he couldn't really see Peter and felt like he was basically just watching the movie alone. He leaned his head over. "Peter?"

Instead of verbally responding, Peter wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulders and pulled him closer. Harry found it hard to pay attention to the movie after that. Was this how Snape felt when Ben held him? All warm and tingly? He rested his head on Peter's shoulder and found himself laughing at the movie.

It ended far too quickly and Harry desperately wanted to be held again as they walked out. Outside, they found a large tree to sit up against and Harry immediately sat under Peter's outstretched arm. "Did you like the movie?" Peter asked as he used his other hand to pay with Harry's hair, patting it flat and pulling it into his eyes.

"Yeah," Harry said with a blush. "So… do you like sports or, I dunno, football?"

"Not really, actually," Peter laughed. "I like Madonna, and Abba, and the Beatles."

The smile on Peter's face showed Harry just how much he enjoyed his music. "I never got to listen to music when I lived with my aunt and uncle. Maybe I could borrow a tape or something?"

The smile on Peter's face just grew wider and he rested his forehead against Harry's for a moment. "You can come over or I can come over, and we'll use my walkman."

Harry checked Peter's watch and groaned. He needed to leave if he was going to be back on time. They shared a look and Harry kissed Peter's cheek before the other boy could kiss his. "Can I call you later?"

"If you don't, I'll call you," Peter laughed.

Harry let Peter walk him to his bike and started to feel nervous again. He pulled Peter in for a long hug and felt like he couldn't breathe. "Bye." A blush overtook his features and he rode off before Peter managed to say anything. The whole ride home he regretted leaving so quickly. Everything had been great and then he'd gotten awkward. Peter had been so cool and not nervous at all.

He rested his bike against the side of the house and stormed in. They were all seated around the table playing cards and drinking. Snape's eyes narrowed in consideration as he stood. Harry didn't even think as he launched into his arms, well…he leaned against Snape's chest and Snape stood still. "Did it not go well, Potter?" he growled.

"I felt so foolish," Harry whined. He tilted his head up until he could see his uncle. "We… we cuddled and kissed on the cheek, and I just ran off."

Snape awkwardly patted his head. "Perhaps Peter found it… cute."

"Peter was probably just as nervous," Ben joined in. "Life is very confusing at your age. Why don't you get cleaned up and have a chat?"

Harry sighed and nodded against Snape's chest. They'd probably be discussing the past school year.

He detached himself from Snape's body and trudged upstairs. Why was he always so awkward and awful? He pulled his shirt off and threw it down. After staring at it a moment, he kicked it and then kicked his wardrobe. He froze when he heard footsteps on the stairs.

The door opened and then closed and he knew it was Snape. "What?" he snapped as he took out a clean shirt and started buttoning it.

Snape just stared at him as he took a seat on Harry's bed. "I have told you on multiple occasions that tantrums are unacceptable. Though I understand that you are hormonal and emotionally insecure, this behavior is not endearing." He patted the bed next to him for Harry to sit.

Harry teetered on his feet and bit into his lip. "I'm not. Not emotionally insecure." Snape raised a single eyebrow and Harry hesitantly sat next to him. "I don't know how to talk to people, okay," he muttered.

"Potter," Snape huffed, "are you under the impression you are special? 13-year-olds rarely understand the world, or adult things. If they do it is typically due to irreversible emotional damage. First dates are always uncomfortable."

Anger surged through Harry. "Everybody expects me to…."

"Not Peter," Snape interrupted. "Not Ben, or the Bagleys. And to be frank, I have always doubted you as a hero. All I see is a moody child."

Harry jumped to his feet and raised a pointed finger to say…what? He actually kinda liked that Snape saw him as nothing special. "Than what am I?" he asked quietly. "If I'm not the special Harry Potter, then who am I?"

"Right this moment," Snape said as he stood and crossed his arms over his chest. "As far as everyone else is concerned, you are Harry Snape –my annoying, misbehaved child; a guest at the Bagleys. You are also a mediocre student, a decent Quidditch player, and a brat. Did I miss anything?"

Harry gulped and looked down to the floor. "I'm trying to be a better student," he whispered, but it was half-hearted. He couldn't get past the idea of Harry Snape. Like somehow this wasn't just a temporary arrangement. He'd said he'd behave, but it hadn't dawned on him that he couldn't be emotional. Was it really worth it if he didn't feel like himself anymore? Yes, a little voice in the back of his head said. Having a family would be worth it, worth anything. "I'll stop being special."

Snape scowled and pushed the hair out of his face. "Just realize that the challenges you face are not unique. People do understand what you're going through." He sighed as he looked at Harry and was clearly annoyed. Harry shrunk under his glare and slowly lifted his hand to his hair. He didn't know why it annoyed Snape so much that it stuck up everywhere, but it did. He guessed that flat hair was an Evan's gene and his mop was from the Potter side. And Snape hated Potters. And Peter tried to pull his hair flat.

"Thanks, sir," he said. Instead of waiting for Snape to leave, he walked out, went to the bathroom. Why couldn't he just be what everyone else wanted? Snape, and Ben, wanted him well-behaved and quiet and with straight hair and not-Potter-like looks. Dumbledore wanted a hero. Ron wanted him to be like a Weasley. Hermione wanted him to be smart, but not as smart as her. He wasn't sure what Peter wanted.

Then there was what he wanted. He wanted to continue living with Snape and Ben; he wanted to make them proud; he wanted for Harry Snape to be real; he wanted to be Peter's boyfriend; he wanted good grades. Harry picked up the clippers from the sink and considered them for a moment, his mind already made up. They were loud as he ran them over the sides of his head. He kept the center part long and moved it from side-to-side to get everything cut. Once that was done, he dug through the cabinet until he found hair oil. He moved his hair a couple different ways, and settled on parted to the side. Once it was slicked, it looked very neat and his resemblance to Snape really showed.

He didn't expect to like the way that he looked, but he did. For once, he looked in the mirror and didn't see an unwanted freak. He saw a boy with 2 parents that cared, even if that care was flawed, a boy with grandparents, even if he couldn't call them that. He saw a boy with a boyfriend, a boy that Ron wouldn't like. He saw a future


End file.
